Hello, I'm a woman in my late 20s and my DH is in his 30s. Been together 5 years and married for 3 years. We have a 4 year old DD together who will be starting full time school in September. My husband has got learning difficulties, he works part time for the rugby club and is starting his apprenticeship in coaching sport. While I on the other hand are studying part time with the Open University and hoping to start work part time in september. I moved away from my family to be a family with my husband and daughter. I was isolated from my mum and her family during the pandemic and now it is almost over been able to reconnect with my family.
Most recently my DH's elderly nan came out of hospital and needed to be cared for at home. When my husband is not working he goes to his nan's to care for her which is not a problem but it has taken a toll on his health recently.
The issue is that my husband and I rarely have time alone together. Our sex life is non-existant and when we do get intimate which is very rare my husband is too tired to do anything. We rarely sleep together because our daughter wakes up screaming or crying in the middle of the night. The last date night I remember was when our daughter was a few weeks old and back then we had my SIL helping. Since then, we've only gone to the awards evening held at the rugby club (that for me doesn't count as a date night).
He isn't a guy who does romance, he doesn't buy me flowers or surprise me with gifts apart from birthdays and anniversaries. All I want is for us to be able to go out on date nights again, to get that spark back in our relationship like we had when we dated. I want us to be intimate again. But the trouble with date night is that if we ask SIL she's doing it for money and not out of love. I ask my mum she is happy to do it but she lives away from me.
I have talked with him about these issues when we had an argument about it and the word divorce slipped through my lips without thinking. At the end he says he will try his best to accomodate my wishes but I feel like i am talking to a brick wall. I just don't know what to do for the best. Anyone else been in my position before? Any advice on this would be appreciated thanks.