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Original poster

DH working away

7 replies

geordieprincess · 30/04/2022 12:51

My DH has worked away for around 6 years - I can feel us getting more and more distant - we have less and less in common. When he's not away he mainly just works. Do relationships work like this?

OP posts:
MrMrsJones · 30/04/2022 13:29

Not usually, you both want different things

Can he get a local job, can you move closer to his work?

Personally I couldn't have a relationship with someone hardly there

Dacquoise · 30/04/2022 13:57

Unless you are very independent types who have separate interests and friends, this is a difficult one to sustain. My exH wanted a spouse at arms length, worked for him but I felt isolated and lonely. I was also effeftively a single parent which is a whole other issue. Now have a partner who wants to spend a lot of time with me and I couldn't be happier.

Why does he work away, necessity or choice?

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 30/04/2022 14:03

Well, no kids here and we have managed this for the last 25+ years. You do need to make an effort when he is home. Do more than cook, eat, sleep.

Sclover0604 · 30/04/2022 14:10

My DH is on the road all week as an HGV driver, you have to make the most of the time you are together and we message & FaceTime most days when he’s away - works for us.

Walkingalot · 01/05/2022 00:42

No. They don't work like that. What is there to work with? Nothing. Walk away.

AskingforaBaskin · 01/05/2022 00:48

They can but they take work from both sides.

You can't do all the work, if he isn't meeting you half way then what are you getting out of this?

ldontWanna · 01/05/2022 01:30

The issue seems to be that when he is come you still don't come together/reconnect.

OH has been doing this for the past two years. While away we talk a lot through texts,send pics,funny vids/memes etc.

When he is home we laugh together (he's a dumbass Grin) , cook together, clean,mess around, go out , watch movies/tv, go for meals , play boardgames ,he also ensures he spends some 1 to 1 time with DD and that we have everything we need for the next week. After a bad week (either me or him) we might do fuck all and just laze about but it still feels like he's there.

It works because when he's home, he's actually there and I'm fairly independent and have my own routine and things sorted while he's gone.

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