What does date night mean to you?

[newlymarried1]

I am trying to re ignite the fire, what does date night mean to you?

I hate the idea of date night.

It seems like: 'if I make the effort to buy wine, order a carry-out, choose a film to watch, I'll be rewarded with sex'.

In the time when I had small children, I'd have felt more appreciated if he had got up early letting me have a rest in bed, thought about the washing and the food shop, taken the kids to the park so I could have time for a shower (alone). Then I would have felt like 'date night'.

If 'date night' is about re-connecting, finding what made you laugh / be attracted to each other / feel cherished and desired, then there needs to be room for conversation. Real conversation. Not 'it's date night so I'm likely to have sex' mumbling conversation, the stuff that really sparks your fire (politics / porn / whatever).

We don't call it date night but we like to go out. We're away this weekend and going to a gig tonight, I suppose that's like a date.

I don't think it needs to be a night necessarily. Like PP have said something that connects you and having a laugh. I haven't been with my bf very long, but because we spend so much time together most of it is mundane, eat then watch TV. So I like when we go out either during the day to do something at the weekend or dinner, anything really that is out of the house and outside the routine. We are doing something like that probably once a month just now.

So I suppose if you always have take away on a Friday night, it's routine rather than a date night. Maybe organise a walk in the park or a museum if that is your sort of thing as a couple?

"Date night" just sounds cheesy and ridiculous for a married couple. If you want to go out, just organise it - whether that be dinner, theatre, a football match, camping trip or whatever. Just do something you both enjoy - that's how normal life works.

Tbh....

'Our relationship has fell flat on its arsqnand we're desperately trying to convince ourselves otherwise instead of just admitting defeat and calling in the lawyers'.

We call it date night to get the kids to bed early and sit and watch something together with snacks!! we also have dates where we go for brekkie in a hotel and last week we had our first actual date in 2 years where we sat in a pub incredulous that we were actually out!!

For us 'date night' is where we get to go and do something together outside the house without the children. Usually cinema, theatre or a meal. Over lockdown, a child with sen, a clingy toddler, wfm, no support network and a horrible job with 100 hour weeks we forgot to spend time together and our marriage suffered. Now we make sure that once a month we go out. It's nothing to do with sex, its about spending time together as friends and as people rather than parents. It doesn't happen often or for long, but its better than nothing.

But we also do nights in every week with one of the takeaways the kids hate, or chips n dips etc a movie or board/card games. Again, it's just about enjoying eachothers company.

And then there's the rare nights the older kids are away and we take the opportunity to go nuts in the bedroom with no worrys about the tween walking in. That 'date night' is very much about the sex.

Date Night for me means someone taking the kids for a few hours, or even an occasional overnight.

You can say right from the off that you not wanting sex - this takes the pressure off and you may have a far more chilled and relaxed evening together.

Couples with kids can't just pop out to the pub or cinema without notice or childcare thoughts, so nothing wrong getting a "date night" in the calendar once or twice a month.

Since our Baby arrived last year - date night is literally a take away and a cocktail and a film or a PlayStation game for together

we don’t need to plan it though it’s just most weekends after 7 once baby asleep this is what we do

we used to out to clubs and comedy shows and the theatre

that’s rare now.

Date night for us is some music on, cocktails or nice bottle of wine, a nice meal & sitting down with no other distractions & talking. No topics off limits, no judgements, just a reconnection

It’s just a cheesy way of saying going out of an evening together without the kids in tow, which obviously has to be scheduled in advance as the babysitter needs to be booked.

Date night for us is, film, booze and a takeaway. That's literally it. Then I'll go to bed and he'll watch something else and drink more usually.

for us it’s usually one of the following

• board game night


• movie and snacks


• takeaway and trash tv

very occasionally we manage to get a babysitter for our 3 so go out for a meal or something.

we don’t call it date night but try to make sure we do one or two of those mentioned above 1/2 times a week as we can get quite busy with individual hobbies and DCs activities

oh also we tend to have a no phones rule. It’s not ever been laid down as an official rule but makes sure we’re concentrating on the activities and each other

It means we get a babysitter and for a night out together (meal, gig, comedy night etc) as opposed to a night out with mates or a night in.

When DC were small it meant a chance to be ourselves and do something fun away from DC. Never going for dinner (when we'd just talk about DC) but doing stuff that reminded us why we enjoyed each other's company before the slog of being parents. So - comedy nights, live music gigs, theatre or film then chatting about it afterwards over last orders in a nearby pub, sometimes taking a picnic down to the lake in the woods on a summer night.

Now DC are grown we go out a few times a month so we don't get bored and boring. We're off to a comedy gig tonight, theatre next week, music gig the week after.

I don't much like the term date night, but I appreciate the attitude behind it - that you choose to make an effort to have fun as a couple so you don't get submerged in parenthood.

I don't understand what date night is really.

DH and I go out regularly together, for drinks or dinner or a gig/theatre. I just call it going out. [Confused]

Trip to Screwfix. He has a free coffee and I wait in the car.

I'm pleased someone has asked because I've been confused for a while.

Once you're an established couple, isn't it just 'going out' or 'having a nice meal in'??

I suppose when things are going well, you are already feeling connected and you just enjoy each others' company. When you have to plan it and call it 'date night' it feels a little forced.

We go out whenever we want, we don't date ... but I suppose kids are adults