How to end marriage

[sannax]

Hi all,

Need some advice. My partner and I own a house together of which I own the majority share. The relationship has broken down to the point where I absolutely hate him and I have been asking for a separation for the last 8 months but he won't leave...purely because I think living here is convenient for his social life and sports. I want out. He is emotionally abusive and takes great pleasure in my distress. He refuses to do childcare when I have work. Goes out all day Saturday, gym in the evenings and frequently goes away to see family for a few days at a time leaving me to parent our 1 year old alone. He will only do chores/ look after our child after extensive nagging and me getting upset which is mentally draining. He will only prioritise himself and his own needs.

Anyway...this is my childs home, he is comfortable here and I have nowhere else to go. Having just back part time to work from maternity leave I also cannot afford to pay mortgage here and rent somewhere else if I were to leave. I feel extremely stuck.

What are my options?

I don't have much advice except to see a solicitor asap. You need proper legal advice in how to move the split forwards.

It may well be that the house will need to be sold so that you can get your share out and use it to get a new place you can afford. He'll have to pay child maintenance (even if you need to get it by applying to csa so it gets taken directly from his wage), whether he wants to or not. You'll also get a council tax reduction etc. All in all, you'll probably be better off than you are now.

Your partner will need to be forced to comply when he's faced with a solicitor (or he will have to face the consequences of failing to comply with the law), but no amount of you asking him will make any difference at all.

So, get a solicitors appointment today (you can request an online one these days) so that you can begin to take actual, concrete plans to move on.

Start the ball rolling to get him out.
Seek legal advice.
Look for a source of funds to buy him out - loan/family…

If he refuses it will take ages to go through the system so start it now. Be realistic. You may need to sell if all other avenues fail.

Before I go to solicitors do I need any specific paperwork. All I have are mortgage documents and the deed of trust. Is land registry stuff online?

He is a significantly higher earner than me so I can't afford to pay mortgage on my own/buy him out right now unless I increase work hours, which means I increase nursery fees. I am a medic so it will mean more on calls/ nights/ weekend work if I increase hours

If you're married try and get copies of payslips, bank statements, pension details, shares, savings etc to take to the solicitors with you as these will count towards the marital assets

I’m not sure this is the best advice. You cannot and must not obtain these documents if the person doesn’t know - unless it’s a joint account where you see your partners income etc.

documents like pay slips and pension statements etc are mostly online to combat this type of invasion of privacy. Go and seek proper legal advice.