Feeling a bit unloved

[Ggggggggg]

Been with DP for 4 years, we have a DC together.

He insists he loves me, he shows it sparingly. He isn’t good with emotions at all it’s such a struggle to try and get him to show it

I’ve mentioned how I feel and he gets upsets and asks how I could ever think that, and also thinks I’m needy

I do like affection I’m quite openly loving myself

Our DC is 4 months old so we’re still new to parenthood and it’s caused us some stress. I feel like I’ve spent 3 months angry at him and we’ve argued on and off so all of this hasn’t helped

I feel like deep down he does love me but I just want more love showing to me - am I needy?

Or has anyone ever been with a partner who doesn’t show emotions/affection a lot? How did you overcome your need for it

My dh used to be emotionally shut off and pretty un-affectionate. His family didn’t really show emotions, didn’t celebrate anything and didn’t even give each other a hug when needed. My childhood was so different so I needed more affection.
We’ve been together for 12 years and worked hard to develop a more affectionate relationship. Sometimes I need to ask for a cuddle or I’ll go and just cuddle him. There are times when he will say he doesn’t want to and j respect that because it was a big change for him too.
We’ve spoken about it, been honest with our feelings and worked to create a balance we’re both happy with. He’s still not the type to take my hand if we’re out and about but I’ve accepted that’s who he is.
Your life has just massively changed with your little one. Have you and your partner had any time to yourselves lately? Why not ask someone to babysit and have a day/night just the two of you. Some time to unwind, relax and have fun. Not have any big chats, just a few hours of being together. It’s tough when you feel you’re both arguing or in bad moods so maybe jusg a break will help release some stress and tension.

A baby really changes a relationship. What was it like before you were pregnant, was it good enough then ? If not, you know the answer.

@Hiddenvoice I think a night alone would be perfect I am asking my mum soon to take care the baby for us. We’ve had sex once since DC was born which I think we need to make more of an effort with to be close

even with sex I say are you not bothered about it - as he prefers me to intiate

he explained he really wants to but doesn’t want to put pressure on me and that he prefers me to initate because he’d feel like a creep if he tried it on and I said no

i have said he shouldn’t as I’m his girlfriend me saying no is okay but I have mentioned he could work on that too

@KangarooKenny He did show affection pre baby and during pregnancy sparingly as he’s never been a majorly affectionate man! But post baby I noticed it lessened I felt. He has since said it’s not that he doesn’t want to show it but it’s not like he can grab me for a hug/kiss when I’m rocking or feeding the baby and vice versa

so it’s not like he was awful pre pregnancy but the whole relationship he has struggled to show affection. His family aren’t affectionate and his mum and dad split up years ago and even now the relationships their in - they don’t show any affection really