DH never says sorry

[Justmeeeee]

This is really starting to piss me right off, when he does something wrong he never says sorry.

He is working 2 days over next weekend, we had arranged to go out the day he was free, I'd researched online and found some nice places to visit. Things have been crazy busy for us so I was really looking forward to this day out.

Now he tells me he has a delivery coming on his day off so the chances we'll end up just staying at home, I'm really disappointed and to make things worse instead of saying sorry or trying to fix it he had ago at me for being annoyed and is now sulking in bed.

FML

I guess this isn't the best example of him being unable to say he is sorry but it is the lastest. If I fuck up I'll hold my hands up and say sorry. I'm so mad right now.

Is that you Carrie?

This is why people say men don't mature as quickly as women simply to hide the fact some men are just stupid. Stop apologising and see how he takes it

Leave him at home and still do the day out you'd planned.

Stop giving him so much power over you.

My DH never says sorry. It's pathetic but I often say sorry for my part in an argument just to stop his annoying sulks. Then wait for his sorry but it never comes.

God, I thought this was just my life. I hate this!

Same here. Ex could not say sorry, always had to get her too and it felt worthless. She got better but it a dirty from her was scarce early in our RL. There were so many things which lead to the end.

This is not okay. Either put up with it or sort out the communication between you to, he has to realise it is not okay and how rubbish it makes you feel.

Go for your day out anyway. I adopted the attitude many years ago after being let down by someone in relation to a holiday, that I could either stay at home, or go alone. I went.

And a long time afterwards they started on about going on holiday if only they had someone to go with. Nope. Not me.

Let him sulk, a horrible trait in a child, but a million times worse in an adult.

When someone can't say sorry to you they are letting you know that their ego is more important, always, than you and the relationship. They are letting you know that their selfish need to feel superior will always be the most important thing in any and all issues. It's up to you what you do with what they have inadvertently told you.

Thanks all, it really helps.

He went off to work this morning, didn’t say a words and avoided me.

im actually more pissed off with his reaction to me being annoyed that he ruined the day than actually ruining the day.

Hes working on the BH so I’ll go out then by myself and have a nice day.

I think the fact that you haven't talked to him about it suggests more of an issue in your relationship. What makes you come to a forum to blow off steam, rather than actually communicate with your partner about something they're doing that upsets you?

My guess is that op knows from previous attempts that it will not go well. There is no reasonable discussion with someone who holds their ego above all else and they will hurt you in any way they can to groom you in to never holding them accountable. Unless you have been with people with this personality disorder you just don't realise how futile communication is. Things can only look okay when you swallow your feelings. OP, is this the relationship you would want for anyone you loved? How does it make you feel to imagine one of your children in this sort of marriage as an adult?

I didn't really get a chance to talk to him as he was avoiding me and clearly didnt want to talk to me. I text him to tell him we need to have a chat later and I'll be calling him out on it. He doesnt take criticism very well

Do you think he cares about how you feel, OP? Looks like he's prioritising being right over you feeling ok.

My mum can never say sorry, she immediately goes on the defensive rather than admit she was wrong - she is near 80 so not going to change. I guess you have to decide whether it is a character trait you can live with - it is worth noting my mum has had 2 unsuccessful marriages and is now single...

So basically this is how he is, people don't change. Can you live with this for the rest of your life as I think it would undermine most relationships in the end.

This is an awful situation.

You really should type into google

Psychology Today

Followed by

1. Stonewalling
2. Silent treatment
3. Passive aggressive

I did this over the years but one day I realised that this was happening. You'll never prove it because it is very covert. He might not be shouting at you or hitting you but it is still VERY damaging to the person on the receiving end.

The above things generally end in a relationship breaking, whether now or down the line. From experience I would end/deal with it now. If it continues you need to draw a line/set your boundaries.

People who don't say sorry aren't people I choose to have in my life as they are not emotionally mature to maintain happy healthy relationships. Someone suffers, usually not them.

It’s frustrating isn’t it? My ex in the 10 years I had known him never said sorry. Even after accidentally causing damage to something of mine. He refused to say it. Would dance around it and joke about it instead of apologizing. Another one of the reasons he’s an ex.

I can’t bear people who won’t admit when they are wrong, they usually have huge egos.
I suspect he’s not going to apologise because he can’t possibly admit that he could ever do wrong.
Eeugh it’s so unattractive.