Just average…

[Heartandcross]

Just want to know if I’m over reacting and how you would feel…
myself and partner of 5 years were talking about tv shows and about all the dating shows on tv lately - ex on the beach, love island all those type of shows when he said oh those shows are for people that are all hot not like us were just average.

It really upset me and not saying I think I’m amazingly hot or anything like that but I would like to think that the person in with at least thinks I’m ‘hot’ not just plain average.

Am I being silly? Would this comment bother you because it has really made me feel like sh**.

Seriously? Have you actually SEEN the people on these shows?

Yab silly.

Of course he things your hot!! But there is a difference between being hot and being hot like the people that go on those type or shows

It's a matter of personal preference. Different people are attracted to different people. A lot of people think the Love Island types are awful.

I find most of the Love Island types the complete opposite of “hot” - shallow, vapid and an obsession with the (artificial) way you look (or, being charitable, pretending all of that to get on a TV show) are all traits that completely turn me off.

Unless he’s always bringing up how attractive these people are, then I don’t think he meant his comment the way you’ve taken it. You’ll have a lot more going for you than most of the contestants on that show.

I mean in fairness to the bloke he did say "we are average" he didn't say "you are average" so he probably doesn't see the comment as putting you down because he included himself in it.

Personally I wouldn't have been upset by it, because in all honesty the people who go on these showed their money comes from how they look so they spend a lot of money on it.

Remember you aren't "average" you are just poor 😂 If you look many celebrities before they were famous they are average/slightly above the norm, it's not untill they get all their money do they suddenly become insanely attractive thanks to the personal chefs/personal trainers/make up artists/cosmetic procedures and expensive clothes and so on. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I genuinely think he wasn't trying to be cruel or anything OP. But I do understand it can be upset to hear "I'm average"

You're being a bit silly. I think my DP is very dashing and he thinks I'm gorgeous but neither of us are under the illusion we'd cut it on Love Island

I'd have replied to him with something along the lines of

'well you might be average but I'm fucking hot'!!!

or

'aww you're not average'!!!

I detest these 'hollow reality shows and their participants'. For me the only thing that's 'average' is the level of intelligence of those taking part and watching. Good looks and what society deems as beautiful are only superficial and the people that are chosen for these shows are chosen on their appearance. Again its the media fed bullshit that tells us what is beautiful, just more pressure to fit an image.
Absolutely nothing wrong in average....99% of the population fit that bill.

The people on those shows are Botoxed, dieted, shaved, plucked, tanned, trained and made up to within an inch of their lives.
I'd rather be "average", honestly!

i don’t mean to be horrible but having watched love island most of the contestants seem to be outliers in mostly unfortunate ways, so “average” in that context would be a compliment.

It is hard to say without seeing what you both look like. I would say that they are hardly a uniform bunch and a few of them are genuinely beautiful. I have regularly seen Kimberly Garner IRL as I believe she must have family/friends living nearby. She looks amazing and she is very smart. Likewise, among the VS models, Romee Strijd clearly stood out from the crowd of so-called genetic lottery winners. They do have a little work/styling/contouring done but even if they did not, they would still have a natural advantage over every pretty regular woman.

Do you mean that you are above average in looks and you are surprised your DH doesn't agree?

Or are you average looking but you wished your DH would pretend otherwise?

Pressed enter too soon!...

I know I'm average looking. So is my DH. To me he's hot and vice versa but, from the outside, we're average. Perhaps your DH meant that. It's the sort of think I or DH would say, without any offence intended or taken.

I actually told my partner thry should make a love island for real people especially 40 somethings and mums who need a rest. Letting it all hang out by the pool. ....of course nobody would watch but at least it would be more real life. We also joke that i would be there making all the beds and tidying up as i cant stand all the mess in the background. Maybe like me he just sees it as not real life.

I think you are being silly yes. A passing comment I imagine almost certainly not made with malice. He included himself in the mix too.

You are normal people. Not wannabe celebs who have spent fortunes on implants, fillers, surgery, PTs, steroids (the men) and barely eat (the women).

I’d watch it!

I say this to my husband too! Imagine their faces when I trot out in my Underwired and scaffolding swimsuit 🤣🤣

Honestly OP, your husband isn't criticising you. Us mere mortals aren't wanted on these shows - the people on there are either very lucky with their gene pool or, more likely spend a ton on looking so glamorous.

Love Island is for a specific subset of 'hot': 21 tears old, v slim, false teeth, lip fillers, botox, and hair extensions. And a penchant for saying 'you muggin' me off?'

I am sure you are a fine specimen of a different subset of hot, OP. That's what your beloved meant.