How to revive sex life?

[hairdidhoopsbig]

DD is 5 months old tomorrow. We’ve had sex 3 times since she was born. We’ve wanted to more but we can’t get in the mood/don’t feel comfortable as she’s still in her next2me in our bedroom.

Our shower is a single shower so won’t fit both of us, our downstairs is completely open plan and we have a very loveable Labrador who loves to be near us - so the couch is pretty much out too!

The times we’ve had sex is when my parents have had DD, but we can’t wait for someone to babysit DD so that we can have sex.

What can we do? DP gets so on edge and can’t get in the mood. I tried a blow up bed in the dressing room and he was on edge as 20 mins prior to us going in there DD had cried (briefly, settled after a dummy) and said he just felt he couldn’t get in the mood in case she cried again etc

Any tips please I feel like our sex life has taken a nose dive :(

does she have a routine? Enough that you know she will reliably sleep from 7-10pm, for example? Do you have any other upstairs room, e.g. your DDs bedroom?
If so, plan a nice dinner once baby is asleep (wine & candles etc), and you can always interrupt the dinner if the mood is right.

Also, how about finding a dog walker to get one distraction out of the way?

Welcome to parenthood 😂

Seriously though, perfectly normal for it to take a hit when you have a child, in my experience and that of quite a few others your men can also see you slightly differently than pre baby and the attraction/sex life etc can be different from both sides. (Not everyone obviously but it's not uncommon for a while)

I was told by my gynaecologist/ obstetrician consultant that “baby should be in her own bedroom by six months.”
Can only suggest that baby moves out sometime soon & as others have said, make love (or just have a cuddle) during a time you know she’s going to be asleep.

What can we do? DP gets so on edge and can’t get in the mood.

Are you approaching it from a let's have sex perspective?
Could you just be playful and enjoy each others bodies and some intimacy without the expectation of sex...and then if you get in the mood and baby is quiet let it naturally progress to sex?

OP, a 5 month old baby is not going to
a) know that her parents are having sex, or b) remember overhearing it anyway.
Why can’t you just have sex under the covers every night if the fancy takes you?
I kept DD in her cot beside our bed until she was 11 months. Mostly DD slept through our encounters, but I remember one occasion where she reached through the cot bars and patted my arm with a look of such concerned sympathy on her little face that DH and I were in fits of laughter! Nobody was traumatised by it, and DD is now in her 30s, in a happy long term relationship. It’s really not the big deal you seem to think.

she reached through the cot bars and patted my arm with a look of such concerned sympathy

Very funny

Sorry ds knocked my phone. That looks sarcastic. I genuinely found the story funny

Op you'll be fine under the covers! Or in the hallway!

The consultant that said to move the baby out by six months is wrong- babies regulate their breathing by being alongside adults.

twoandcooplease I wish I could have photographed her face - it was that look of earnest sympathetic concern you might see on a professional therapist! I still laugh at the memory.
incidentally, DH died when DD was 11 months. Thank goodness we didn’t wait til DD moved out to her own bedroom, to resume what turned out to be the final year of our sex life. I still miss him now, thirty years later.