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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Relationship with no sex is it sustainable

9 replies

HappyWednesday1 · 27/04/2022 14:46

I’m currently in a 2 year relationship with the most amazing man ever. He has to take meds which give him no libido or though he can get hard. He’s off to the doctors to see if there is anything they can do for him but it seems unlikely. He’s got viagra but it dosnt really do much as him getting hard isn’t the issue. he does lots of other stuff to me when I ask but nothing beats sex. Last night I was fully shaven and glowy from my tan he said how nice I looked but just couldn’t get in the mood for sex. Will I resent him or can I stay like this these meds are for life is there a cure for him. I don’t no what I would do with out him as he’s my soulmate. We have sex once a month or less but it feels like he’s really having to try to get in the mood.

OP posts:

Watchkeys · 27/04/2022 14:49

Nobody can answer this for you.

Attwoodsladyfriend · 27/04/2022 14:55

Nope. Run.

bigbeautifulmonster · 27/04/2022 14:55

Don't no.

But if he's your solemate n' all...

Watchkeys · 27/04/2022 15:04

Attwoodsladyfriend · 27/04/2022 14:55

Nope. Run.

Some people can do this. Why are you so sure OP can't?

Original poster

HappyWednesday1 · 27/04/2022 15:05

It’s so hard as at the moment the sex isn’t an issue and I couldn’t be with anybody else. Will the doctor offer a solution

OP posts:

YouAreNotBatman · 27/04/2022 15:28

To some yes, to some no.

Depends on a person.
I would love to have a relationship WITHOUT sex.

You have to decide what kind of relationship you want.

KimMG · 27/04/2022 15:28

My wife decided she no longer wants any form of sex life over a year ago. To anyone that sees us otherwise, we appear to be the 'perfect couple'. We're both 61. The other parts of the marriage are good / great. We're financially stable, have a good income / pensions. I sometimes wonder whether we should separate, even sometimes looking at online estate agents to see the type of house I'd get if we split. However, I try to weigh everything up and on balance I come to the opinion that staying together the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Most of the time it's OK, but just sometimes I get really frustrated.
When this situation started, I turned to this site, and got some good support.
I feel for you OP, but only you can decide if you can carry on with no sex life.

Colourmeclear · 27/04/2022 17:37

Depends on the couple. Me and my partner had very little sexual contact for about 5 years, then we re-introduced it. It really depends on the couple. We are fortunate that our self worth, confidence etc isn't related to our sex life but I know that's not true for everyone.

whenwilliwillibefamous · 27/04/2022 17:45

Have you been to the doctor with him OP so that you can both be talked through the possibilities and implications?
Here is an article bysomeone with prostate cancer who is on testosterone-stripping meds and that makes a sex life very very difficult, but he and his wife still manage to have a sort of sex life together, though it's hard work...
prostatecancer.net/living/hormone-therapy-sex-life

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