I can’t stop reading old texts

[Orangeyjuice]

I am in a relationship and it’s really loving and he’s an absolute gem. It’s been nearly a year.

However I have OCD and obsess a lot over how things used to be. You know in the honeymoon period, sending long texts? He put so much effort into texting in the first few months, loads of emotion, enthusiasm, saying things like “god I miss ya” “is it bad I miss you already” like things I could tell he meant.

He now tells me he loves me every day but it feels more routinely like “love you x” “miss you too xx”. If that makes sense? I keep reading old texts and getting upset. I keep thinking if he really wanted to, or felt the same as before, he’d text me how he did. He says he feels it but says it should be assumed.

How do I deal with the natural progression of relationships in this way, as it’s something I struggle with?

this is the kind of thing I do, and over the years I’ve destroyed lots of photographs, letters, deleted emails and messages to stop myself mooning over the past. I feel a little regret sometimes when I have so little to remind me of my past but I don’t miss any individual letters etc that I’ve binned and overall it suits me better. I’m generally quite a jolly person but I can spend many minutes wistfully unraveling the information held in a photo, for instance.
Its not exactly the same as your situation and I’ve possibly just outed myself as an emotional basket case, but personally I’d advise the Marie Kondo approach of - if it’s not bringing you joy, bin it.

What reaction do you get if you send him a lovey dovey flirty message ?

I do this too, I guess it’s normal to miss that stage as it was new and exciting but you should remind yourself that you two feel comfortable now. You are both happy and content and he maybe doesn’t feel the need to say that everyday as he will think you know how he feels.
it’s okay to look at the messages but try not get yourself upset about them and instead focus on all the things you’re going to do together and things to look forward too.

Hi OP,
I saw
Your other thread where you were upset about your BF wanting to go home to rest when poorly. I remember this caused you some concern. I wonder if you have an anxious attachment style. Rereading old texts can be fun but as others have said, relationships evolve and move on naturally. The honeymoon phase is rarely sustainable. It certainly wouldn't be in my case. Me and my DP wouldn't be able to hold down full time jobs and look after our children if we lived how we did at the start

It's what someone in real life does not text communications that matter.

Constant full-on reassurance is exhausting and unattractive. So perhaps so you don't become exhausting just take a deep breath, find something else to read or do so you have something to talk to him about when you see him instead of being all upset that he hasn't written you a poem at lunchtime.

If it helps to reassure you he's comfortable with his relationship, he doesn't need to pursue that bits done. He can just get on with his day content and see you later. It's a lovely place to be.

He says he feels it but says it should be assumed

How did you feel when he said this to you?

I understand this and I've done it alot lately around my relationship which in my case was abusive and I've left him. But looking back on those early messages certainly triggers the "good old times" "take me back"
The butterflies. The excitement.

As long as he is still treating you well smile at the memories and enjoy them. X

At first we are creative in what we text etc, but not many people can keep that up forever.

this is exactly me word for word