AIBU - my partner will not add me to FB

[Dolly103]

I have been in a relationship with my partner since 2014, we bought a house and moved in together 2 years ago. We are both In our 50s and I have 2 teenage children who live with us. It's been a tricky time for us for various reasons but we are working through this and it feels like it's moving in the right direction However, he removed me on Facebook last year and despite me asking him to re add me said he will not.
I am finding this upsetting and he knows this, he said he is a private person and does not want others knowing his business. He is active on FB.
Anyhow it bothers me and I would love to hear what others think.... AIBU

I don't have my partner of 6 years as a FB friend either. Nor do I have my surviving parent or sibling as friends. Ex partner used to tag me in things without my permission. I have a private profile and have no desire to randomly advertise my whereabouts because of my job. People are entitled to privacy even within a relationship, they don't have to justify that desire, and you don't have any real basis for 'demanding' to be FB friends with them anyway. If it's a dealbreaker, then perhaps you need to reconsider the entire relationship?

He can't be that much of a private person if he's active on fb

Hmm seems odd. Do you post loads on your own one and it's boring him and he doesn't realise he can unfollow rather than unfriend?

My ex did this out of lack of actually liking me, and disrespect. Any decent partner would be glad to be associated with you.

I don't have my partner of 6 years as a FB friend either.

Yes but OP's 'partner' did have her on there, he removed her last year when they weren't getting on well. If he sees the relationship as ok now, he should have her back on, as he had her on before when their relationship was ok.

Not having her on I imagine feels like he's still not that into the relationship to @Dolly103

Op, it isn't a good sign. If you had previously posted on his FB inappropriately then he should be flagging that as a reason.

What does your gut instinct tell you?

Shady as hell

From my own experience of a partner who wouldn't add me or anything about our life to Facebook or other social media (because 'privacy'), it's to present himself as single in the event that someone looks him up.

Has he stated that he is in a relationship?

He won't add you because 'hes a private person'? What a bullshit reason. If he was that private he wouldn't be active on FB at all.
Plus you're his partner, the one person who likely knows the most about him!

There are only 2 reasons why hes not adding you back on and neither of them is because hes a private person.
They are because he does not want you seeing what hes posting/liking/friends with OR
He doesn't want others knowing he is in a relationship with you.

He is 100% hiding something. If this was my DP I would certainly be starting a little discreet reconnaissance.

In keeping with the theory that he might be posting about topics you might not agree with... Is it possible he's got caught up in conspiracy theories? I see a lot of extreme opinions and misinformation being shared on FB (coincidentally one of the reasons I have pretty much stopped using it, outside of mums groups).

He doesn't want you knowing his business

Either dating someone se or wants to appear single so that any potential women will check his profile and see it appears he is single.

There's no other explanation op. Sorry. He is either cheating or actively looking to be. Time for him to go.

Yes tricky time due to his behaviour :(

Tbh my partner is both controlling and very nosy, and it can feel too much having them enter every forum, part of my life.

God, it's depressing. Why on earth do women stay with these awful men?