Title says it all. Things have been awful for a while, even before dd was born. He wasn't supportive while I was pg and in the early months when dd was here. In fact on quite a few occassions he was really nasty and selfish, telling me I was losing it when I would sit crying at night (dd had really bad colic, not that he knew as he worked extra shifts to avoid this), and telling me I had no patience with her if I left her in another room to cry just for a little break. When I told him things were falling apart he told me nobody else would want me
Once things got a bit easier for me, I spoke to him about our relationship (or tried to, he seems to find it hard to talk without being petty and storming out ). I told him we should spend more quality time together and that he should be looking after dd occassionally to let me have some 'me' time or to go see friends as I never see them anymore. He never offers, Still never happened, he quite happily goes to mates house once a fortnight though. Tells me be home at 12, usually comes home drunk nearer 3 telling me he can stay out to whenever he wants. Think he forgets he has a family. Still doesn't ask me if I want to go for dinner, cinema etc as he'd rather sit on the computer in another room. I sit in front of the tv. Things are beyond repair, so many nasty things have been said and I can't ever forgive him, I've said to friends if he really loved me he would never say these things. As a result I don't love him anymore.
Sorry for the huge rant, just reminding myself why I am asking him to move out. I know it is the right thing to do for myself and also for dd. She is just over a year old and I don't want her growing up in an unhappy house with parents who argue all the time. But at the same time I have this horrible feeling in my stomach, I'm scared Of what will happen when he goes. I'm afraid I won't meet someone else. He's already saying to me that it will take him months to get his own place so he will stay with a friend/his brother and that dd can't stay in he is. Is he only saying this so I get scared that I won't have a social life (he knows this really makes me sad)
I've asked my sister to move in to help me financially so that should be ok. I don't even know how to talk to him about child mantenience (sp?) for dd, how much should he pay etc? He earns around £18/19K a year, but I will wait until he is in his own place (as long as he doesn't take the piss and spend all his cash partying for months).
Sorry it is so long and muddled, just typing exactly what is in my head just now. Please help me stick to my plan, and reassure me things will get better!