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Original poster

Sex life

13 replies

familysecrets · 26/04/2022 01:42

Only married five years and our marriage is dying
How do I save it ?
My partner has changed - weight gain etc
No sex I'm struggling to be physically attracted to my partner

We don't even sleep in the same bed as our child sleeps with me now 🤦‍♀️

Help

OP posts:
Jimbo1008 · 26/04/2022 18:29

I think you need to go elsewhere for your sex, do you love your partner if so sex can be something outside marriage if your happy with it.

middleofthelittle · 26/04/2022 18:37

Jimbo1008 · 26/04/2022 18:29

I think you need to go elsewhere for your sex, do you love your partner if so sex can be something outside marriage if your happy with it.

Not great advice.

The child in the bed is the issue but I'm sure you already know that. You've cut away intimacy and closeness. Start with moving them into their own room.
Have monthly date nights with no pressure, inside or outside the house but no phones and do something you both like.
The sex will come back naturally.

Countdownis35 · 26/04/2022 18:41

Is your partner aware of how you feel? Can you try counciling?

How old is your child? Get them in their own room!

Palmfrond · 26/04/2022 19:36

Jimbo1008 · 26/04/2022 18:29

I think you need to go elsewhere for your sex, do you love your partner if so sex can be something outside marriage if your happy with it.

Wow.

Ryah76 · 26/04/2022 19:51

why not try doing things together, walks in the park with your little one, coffee dates for just the two of you.
you could suggest cooking meals together( healthy) little changes that will improve your lifestyle , encourage closeness and hopefully re/ ignite your spark.

Thedogscollar · 26/04/2022 23:38

Jimbo1008 · 26/04/2022 18:29

I think you need to go elsewhere for your sex, do you love your partner if so sex can be something outside marriage if your happy with it.

Seriously stupid advice so why offer it?

KirstenBlest · 26/04/2022 23:44

How old is your child and how much weight has your DH gained?

Littlebylittlelittle · 27/04/2022 06:32

Hi who’s making the decision for your child to sleep in the bed and how old is the child
when did the weight gain start and did anything trigger it ? Or it came out if the blue

Maydaysoonenough · 27/04/2022 07:19

Which came first? Dc in the bed or weight gain? Maybe your dh thinks you prefer the dc to sleep along side you. Maybe he gave up so is comfort eating? Many years again our dc slept through very early but dh would go bring him into our bed... To avoid me.
Eventually I moved out.
He had a fling with my new ll.
Keith...

YRGAM · 27/04/2022 07:27

At least there are two specific issues to overcome here - hopefully much easier to solve than falling out of love!

Child in bed - you should both agree a plan to get her in her own bed. It'll depend on her personality but it might involve a lot of singing/waiting around on the bedroom floor, so you'll both need to take it in turns

Partner weight - much more difficult, but again it will depend on his personality. If he has a thick skin he'll probably appreciate your honesty in saying you'd like him to lose weight, but you'll probably have to be sneaky. If he's competitive or into sports, training for a 5/10k is a great way to get healthy eating habits started.

Is he good in bed otherwise? Does he listen to what you want? No ED issues?

HollowTalk · 27/04/2022 07:28

Jimbo1008 · 26/04/2022 18:29

I think you need to go elsewhere for your sex, do you love your partner if so sex can be something outside marriage if your happy with it.

Ffs.

Jonny1265 · 27/04/2022 07:30

Jimbo1008 · 26/04/2022 18:29

I think you need to go elsewhere for your sex, do you love your partner if so sex can be something outside marriage if your happy with it.

WTAF??

Maydaysoonenough · 27/04/2022 08:05

I did end up having an affair. Then I told dh I was and I moved out. I ended it with OM the same day. Exh was mentally abusive.. Including putting the dc in the car and would say if he left he wasn't leaving alone. Took me 2 years to leave but I did. He wanted a fake dw (to have dc) not a proper marriage..

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