Grandparents favouring one grandchild over another

[Saddyks]

I think I'm just looking for some advice how to deal with the situation.

I have a 1,5 year old. My own mum lives far away, which makes her rather sad since she'd like to see her grandson as often as possible. Then we have my husbands parents, who live a mile away but they see our son maybe once a month. And that too only if we go visit. They always promise to have him over, they talk about special Tuesday reserved for him, but then they always cancel for one reason or another.

What irks me is that, husbands brother has a kid too, few months older than ours and their kid is often at the grandparents. At least once a week whole day during week and then weekend sleepovers.

Husbands brother is the younger one, so he's always gotten special attention while my husband is always the one expected to help out his parents. So I guess it's now just skipping over to next generation as well.

Am I unreasonable to expect grandparents to treat both kids equal? I admit our boy is active and energetic and his cousin just sits still and plays quietly with his toys, but that's not exactly a reason to never see him.

He's too young now to know what's going on, but I'm afraid soon he will and I don't want him to feel unwanted by his grandparents. I really don't know what to do.

Husband's mother is the kind who thinks she can do no wrong, so it's a huge obstacle to ever bring this up with her.

Yanbu but someone will be along calling you entitled anyway.

you’ll just have to foster a better relationship between your child and other relatives. You can tforce equality between grandchildren or for your in laws to change how they are.

I have a similar situation in that my sibling’s child is the favoured one by both grandparents (divorced) but neither would admit that if pulled up on it. It is heartbreaking to see my child left out and reliving my childhood exclusion in the same way but I have to keep reminding myself that my child has parents who love him and other relatives we can turn to.

The younger sibling isn't always the one who gets the most attention. Often it's the older one. The issue is that children are individual personalities, not just a blank canvas. They are people and other people (including grandparents) will relate to them depending on those personalities. You don't say what the two children here are like. If one is demanding, whiny, greedy and attention-seeking - that child will be less favoured than another who is gentle and affectionate. I'm not saying that it's justified, it's just how it is. And I don't know how it can be put right.