Fiance depression

[Gummybear10]

I'm not really sure what I'm hoping to get from posting this but I'm just feeling so lost at the moment.
Myself and my fiance are going through some big life events which are causing a lot of stress i.e. house move, planning a wedding and starting a family, on top of already both having pretty stressful jobs.
But this weekend has just been really difficult, he is suffering with depression and yesterday in an arguement said he's having suicidal thoughts. I just don't know how to help, he won't talk to anyone about it. His family and friends don't know, and he doesn't want me to tell them. I'm just so lost at how I can help, ive told him to speak to a professional but he won't. He gets to the point he's really snappy and I feel like I'm not helping and making it worse because I just don't know how to handle the situation.
Do I break his trust and speak to maybe his parents or brother about it, or is this going to make him feel worse? Has anyone been in a similar position

Just wanted to say you’re not alone, my husband is going through a rough patch atm and has suicidal thoughts and is snappy as hell. Luckily he realised that this is not normal and sought help and is now under a mental health team. But as a partner I am struggling to stay supportive and try to look past his snappy moments. You’re right he needs to speak to someone professional. Sorry I have no advice but just want to say you’re not alone x

@Gummybear10 @Motherofcats007 I am so sorry to read what you're both going through. My partner has severe depression but thankfully hasn't said he's suicidal. It's so hard to know what to do for the best.

I am sorry I can't offer advice but please know you are not alone.

Just in case you haven’t come across this

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/

@Blossom12345 @Motherofcats007 thank you so much for your replies, it helps to know we're not alone in this.

@Gummybear10 so so sorry to hear this, how are YOU? Sending you lots and lots of love 💜

Speaking as the one who's been in your DH's position (and I am NOT justifying it at all - I don't know how my DH put up with me when I've been at my worst, I am forever grateful and so lucky - please know that he feels that way about you too and I promise as awful as it is it really isn't personal) when your head is in that bad of a place the thought of trying to get help is so difficult and the last thing I wanted was to interact with anyone, let alone any outsiders. I was hideously snappy with anyone and everyone, which then made me feel guilty because I knew they were only trying to help, which then made me feel worse and more like a burden and it is a vicious cycle. I also had those thoughts but knew I couldn't act on them which was extremely conflicting.

For me, I was put on antidepressants by the doctors and have been on several times (my depression usually comes in cycles so every couple of years I'll have a bad drop) - I've had bad experiences with counselling but that's down to luck of the draw with who I got; my husband went through similar service for work anxiety and got the nicest person who really helped. I would be tempted to suggest/make a telephone doctor's appointment for him (giving him plenty of notice) - has he ever had depression before?

Feel feee to PM me at any point - please take care of yourself too. The stressful things are happening to you too (each of those on their own is massive nvm altogether!) and then having your DH feel this way must be a huge weight on you. Really hope you're okay xx

Can you put any of the big stresses on hold for a while. It doesn't sound like a good time to be trying to have a family or to get married.

What happens when you suggest he gets help. Saying that you are suicidal is obviously a very extreme thing Tom say. If he means it it's terrible and if he just said it during the argument to manipulate you then that's terrible too.

Im not sure about breaking his confidence.

I'm sorry you are going through this.