Marriage normal?

[MrsDWashington]

**Posted on AIBU too

Feel a bit silly writing all these things down.

Been married for 8 years in our late 30's. Marriage has had its ups and downs. DH can be extremely angry and blow up over silly things, discussed this with him numerous times, said he was seeking help and hasn't.

Couple of things recently that have stood out to me. We were going for a night out with friends I had a dress on, just above the knee. He said that's a bit short everyone is going to be able to see your fan**!! I said it isn't that short. He then asked me if I had anything underneath it to which I said just my underwear to which he replied....show me I said absolutely not. I calmed down a bit and pulled him up on his comment, he said he thought I might have had shorts on underneath! When I said that comment has made me uncomfortable he turns it round and tells me to stop being soft or being a baby!

Also when I'm walking round the house say in my pyjama bottoms (full length) he will put his hands down my pants on my bottom. Say oooh you have no underwear on you’re dirty!

It really gets my back up and have told him this. AIBU here?

What is OK in one marriage, isn't OK in another and only the people in it can say what feels right or not. It sounds like this makes you feel uncomfortable and therefore is not OK.

Its personal preference but that's not really what this post is about so 🤷‍♀️

If he's insecure then that may explain the short dress comment?

The pyjama comment - to be honest I would like this sort of attention off my DH 😞
I'd love a cheeky bum pinch round the house now and then but I get no affection at all so.. he's either being cheeky/flirty with you or he's a weirdo.

Only you know 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is all very, erm, pervy.

This is your second, identical thread tonight. I think you're going to get the same answers on this one.

This is what you take from the OPs post? How she dresses is really no concern of yours! You sound almost as bad as her husband 🤦‍♀️

I put in my post I posted it in relationships and AIBU

How one feels in response to their spouse is what's important. Your spouse should prioritise your feelings. My DH will tease me or ask if I thought my dress was too short. If I say no then that's it. If he feels it's too short he can express his opinion in a respectful way especially as I've expressed a contrary view.

We tap eachothers' bums all the time and I fondle and chase in him under the cover every night under the guise of trying to cool the temp down there. He I turn tickles me and it's just a fun thing we do. When I've handled it too roughly he's communicated that and I take it in board.

In summary couples must prioritise the other's feeling of they care about them.

Let your DH know how you feel. If he doesn't express regret for unsettling you then that's the issue.