Different music tastes

[whitebunnies]

My friend has introduced me to one of her friends. We get on well and he has a similar outlook on life and is similar personality wise - it is rare for me to meet someone like this. I know it's early days as we don't know each other that well. If things were to progress is it possible to have a relationship as we have different music tastes? I probably would not enjoy listening to his music. Other than that we have similar interests.

It depends how important your own particular music is to you (and him). I think it's fine if one if you is really into one type of music and the other isn't really bothered about music at all or if you both like a wide variety or if your open minded about listening to new (to you) stuff.

Music is everything in our house! Dh is all about the rock and metal and luckily I like it too but I also listen to a random mix of (mostly old) stuff which he's not so bothered about, so I just do that when he's not here and he gets the full on thrash out when I'm not in.

There's always compromise in relationships. Also with music I think if you're both really into your own music maybe you will widen what you listen to. I certainly have!

I think it depends on how important music is to you. I have always been obsessed with music, listening, playing, singing etc and I think if my partner didn’t like my music they’d be driven mad because it’s on constantly in this house! Fortunately my DP likes most of my music! 😃 Quite a few of my less music obsessed friends have partners who are into totally different music to them and it doesn’t cause any major issues for them.

My husband and I enjoy the same music 99% of the time. However, there's a genre of music he really likes that will literally give me anxiety listening to it. It's fucking awful. We agreed very, very early on in our relationship that he listens to this shite in his car, with headphones, or when I'm not at home. It's worked brilliantly for 25+ years.

I listen to Radio 1 and Dh is absolutely appalled by this, because apparently only young farmers on coke listen to Radio 1. He much prefers Radio 2, which bores me to death (we are late 30s/40s). We do grumble about each other’s music choices on long road trips but otherwise, it really has no impact. The only issue would be if his preference is for something quite violent and extreme.

It would matter to me too. OK if your tastes are broadly similar but you just prefer different bands but if they’re very much at odds with each other I’d question our compatibility. The biggest problem though would be if someone was not really into music at all, couldn’t deal with that, but that’s just me of course.

I think DH and I agree on about 2 songs. Other than that, our music tastes are totally different. Why would it be a problem?

Keep an open mind. If you decide you don't like particular genres of music, understandably, you never listen to them. But then, if you do find yourself listening to them because a partner likes them, you might find after all, there are some bands/sub-genres you like or can at least tolerate.

If you are both prepared to be adventurous with your music choices and give things a try that you've never listened to, you might discover new things together that you both like.

I've found as I age that my musical tastes have become broader and more and more eclectic - I think that's a common experience, as the more things you hear over time, the more likely you are to find (for example) the three punk bands you like even though you hate most punk music.

Depends how important music is to you. Would his music taste drive you nuts listening to it put loud for example? Are you the type if person who is happy to go to a concert / gig alone or are you someone who expects her partner to attend regardless?

There are certain types of music that I viscerally loathe. Listening to EDM makes me uncomfortable and then really cross. So it would be a problem if that’s what a partner liked listening to in the car (for example).

But, so long as I don’t have to listen to it, I’m not sure it’s any more an issue than if he likes eating something I don’t or likes watching long WW2 films or something else I don’t want to do.

All genres of music have at least some good times.

He probably would dislike your taste but that doesn't mean he wouldn't put up with it.

And music tastes change, well they do in this house.

I have very strong opinions on music but even I had to accept there wouldn't ever be a total overlap.

Some shared taste was always going to be crucial and DP and I have a few genres we both love. We both have genres that we love and the other can't abide and it's understood that we play those ones when the other is out of the house or on headphones.

I think more than what music he specifically likes, I wanted someone who genuinely loved music as much as me, and was interested in discovering new music and keeping up-to-date, and who wasn't going to trot out boring dismissive opinions about how music was better in his day or pop stars are all manufactured, did you know, or how rap is just violent and not really music.

Nearly 40 years together and we only occasionally like the same stuff. He likes prog rock, I like soul and R&B. Not a problem.