This is my first time to post, but have been a long time reader of the board. I?ve found it immensely helpful when some problems have come up with my ds (2 yrs), someone else always seems to have encountered the same problems and the advice offered has always helped. I?ve now got a relationship problem of my own and am hoping that maybe someone can offer any help.
I met my dp three years ago and although we hadn?t intended getting so serious so quickly, the arrival of ds meant that things moved at a faster pace than probably best. I changed jobs to be closer to both dp and my family, we bought a house together and things have been great. I have always wondered if ds had not arrived would we still be together, but I?ve never had any reason to think otherwise.
When we were together for 3 months, I kissed a work colleague drunkenly, immediately regretted it and told dp, he was obviously not impressed (I wasn?t exactly thrilled with myself either), but we dealt with it and it was forgotten.
However this weekend, we were out with friends, and the colleague?s name came up in conversation, bringing up all the bad memories for both of us. When we got home that night we had a blazing argument about it during which dp called me names I would never have expected to hear from him. That really shocked me. He seems to think that I have not told him the full truth and things went a lot further than I admitted to. They didn?t, I told him everything that happened and for goodness sake it was three years ago and we were barely going out (not trying to justify it, just put it in context). The argument finished with us breaking up.
Since then I?ve slept in the spare room, we haven?t spoken and I?m trying to think what would be the best thing to do. I don?t want to leave, but I can?t forget what dp said in the course of the argument. It replays in my head and I feel sick knowing that?s what he thinks of me.
Financially I could cope on my own, I have a good job and supportive family, but I don?t want ds to lose his family. Emotionally though, I don?t know if I can forget the things said and the lack of trust. I know I did wrong, but 1) we had already dealt with this and 2)dp doesn?t trust me if he thinks that I?m not telling the full story and 3) it happened before we had committed to each other in any way. We?ll probably talk about it tonight, but I?m so confused about what to do. I hope I?m explaining myself well here, please let me know if you have any opinions/advice.
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Relationships
lack of trust = end of relationship?
10 replies
eefs · 29/10/2002 14:37
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