SAHM? How do you split chores & childcare?

[Palease]

Interested how other families do it. DH takes bin out, tidies up after I cook, cooks twice a week, baths the kids once a week, alternates feeding our 1 year old with me.

I don’t know what’s fair though. I’d like to wake up naturally one or two mornings a week without baby or DS waking me up (DH sleeps through all this).

DH doesn’t bother about putting things away. Eg he baths kids but their clothes are all over the bedroom floor, toys are still in the bath. Opens a parcel from Amazon, leaves the box in the porch and forgets about it. Puts his jumper on the stairs and 2 weeks later it’s still there. This little stuff really winds me up as my job is the home, and I like it tidy. If he doesn’t do it then I have to.

For us it's a direct split:

He earns and pays bills. He builds a career (not something I'm interested in) though I do have pursuits but won't clog this thread with them.

I collect all the dishes, laundry, wash, fold, I do all the meals, three a day, I home educate our child. I empty the litter tray - I do all the domestic tasks OP. All of them.

He does not lift a finger in this house because he pays the bills. I do not pay any bills because I keep the house.

It works for us as it works for many. I like it.

Having said that I have the benefit of having lived a whole life before I had kids. I was 34 when I got pregnant so I am more than ready for this domestic bliss. I'm tired. I'm a homebody. I love my routine. I have coffee in bed and tend to my day's activities.

In the evenings I'm prone to a glass or five of wine to be fair. I work for pin money in my freelance work, which I enjoy.

I'm a teacher, a parent, a homemaker, a wife.

He's a career man, father, and husband.

See I don't want mine to bath the kids or do much really as he will just get in my way. I will do all that and it will take me less effort to collect his dishes than for him to bring them down and leave them in the wrong place, basically (this is an illustrative example)

He's a great dad too.

"Opens a parcel from Amazon, leaves the box in the porch and forgets about it. Puts his jumper on the stairs and 2 weeks later it’s still there. This little stuff really winds me up as my job is the home, and I like it tidy. If he doesn’t do it then I have to"

Seriously, do not let it wind you up. It wound me up too until I decided my contribution was equal to his (not the same) and me picking up after him enables him to focus 100% on his career - which will ultimately increase our family's quality of life.

I'm happy to facilitate this as best I can really because I sure as hell ain't doing that. Hate working so much. Always did, even though I did it for 15 years out of necessity, now I only do what I enjoy. I make about £500/month average and it goes on me, the house, birthday pressies and the like, and out and about money, oh, and wine.

My child naturally woke up around 11am that young, do you co-sleep? They go back to sleep usually if you do. I couldn't do with early mornings.

He should tidy up after himself. You're a sahm, not his maid.

I was a SAHM to a DH who chased his dream career, but brought home the bacon.
I did all cleaning, kids, garden and family cards/presents.All the night time and morning get ups.
He would cook the odd meal as a treat for me, and play with the kids/bath them/take them out when it suited him.
If I had my time again I’d secure a PT job when/before pregnant and make him do 50% when home.

During I do the majority of the chins are because he’s working and I’m not but if I’m ill
or have an appointment he’ll take time off work to cover me and allow me time to rest etc. i suffer from debilitating sciatica and migraines so happens more often than I’d like. On weekends it’s fairly even split Childcare wise we have 3 kids so often DH is taking eldest to his sports or activities while I entertain the toddlers but otherwise it’s pretty fluid

house work wise I’d say we’re fairly even. I do a big clean one day a week because both toddlers are at their grandparents for the day. I usually do the whole house, change the bedding and do all my shopping / errands.

on a daily basis I cook everyday because I like cooking and it’s my alone time in the kitchen. DH cleans and tidied the dinning room after we’re done. Eldest tidies the living room as his “chore”. We split bedtimes one toddler each and usually whoever escapes bedtime first will load the dishwasher

I love being a sahm / housewife so enjoy how it works and it works for us. DH tries to do more and I tell him not to because he works hard all week and we reply on his wages for everything. We have a joint account so all the money is there for me to use and I manage the bills / financial stuff so I reckon I have it pretty sweet

You're not a sahm. You work

I do whatever I can whilst looking after the kids during his working hours. Some days that's loads, some days it's very little. Outside of his work hours, we just divide as needed. He is a morning person so does the early risers, I've usually got more energy in the evenings so I do most of the bath and bed routine. Housework-wise, we both contribute to the mess, so we both clean up. I prefer to cook, so he generally cleans. It's not too my standard ;) so I usually spruce afterwards.

He considers me to be doing plenty during the day, with multiple kids to keep track of (I do all kids administration - he wouldn't be able to tell you anything about shoe sizes, who needs what uniforms, who is due vaccinations, what clubs cost or probably even what day the kids do what..!), but he's happy to pull his weight in the house as I organise kids stuff.

The way I see it, if I get lots done during the day, we get a chilled evening or weekend, so it's too everyone's benefit if I just do what I can, rather than leave it for him. See a job and do it, it's how we usually operate.

Works for us.