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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Forcing the door ope

31 replies

disconnecteddrifter · 24/04/2022 12:46

This morning I was woken up early by my partner again, 530am and playing music loudly downstairs. When he came up at 8 I asked him to be more considerate as he had done the same thing yesterday. He said he thought I'd had enough sleep, and told me I was the happiest he'd seen me yesterday so there was no problem. It turned into an argument where we swore at each other and I ended up crying. Because of this he opened the bedroom door wide so his children could come in and in his words witness that he wasn't doing anything wrong (I'm just crazy). I was naked and have endo and first day of period. I went to shut it. He grabbed my hand and wedged himself in the door telling his children he has to do it as I'm upset and angry. He's just come up justifying his behaviour. He refuses to see that it was unhelpful. I just never know if I am in the wrong or not anymore. I feel so beaten down.

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 24/04/2022 16:58

Yes it is that bad. I think this is my first leave the bastard. Not only is he abusive … waking you up early continuously isn’t ok. He doesn’t get to decide when you have had enough sleep. but getting his kids involved. In what world is it ok to bring his kids into you when you are naked???? Then tell you it’s all your fault. He’s awful. I don’t know enough about how to leave him…hopefully others can help but good luck op. It’s not your fault!

Nanny0gg · 24/04/2022 17:36

Will the children be there when you get home?

Can you move to another room so you don't have to sleep with him?

Get legal advice re selling on Monday

Do you have friends or family who can support you?

disconnecteddrifter · 24/04/2022 17:47

I can go in another room. He said I'm the abuse that I am verbally abusive. I don't remember how it started. I asked for consideration, he got defensive and started bringing up that I shouted out in my sleep and I said something to piss him off. Then started crying and saying he's a dick, horrible to each other. I asked him to leave thr room, he opened the door I closed it he opened it etc. Called his kids said he wanted to see it wasn't his fault. I tried to shut the door, he removed my arm yelled 'I'm trapped in the door' to his kids and look at her she's shouting and angry'. Said he had to do that to show them it wasn't him that was abusive. He still stands by that now. I'm the abuser. Thanks for listening and giving advice. I have worked out somewhere to stay from Wednesday. We are both far from our families - mine are in Europe.

OP posts:
IJoinedJustForThisThread · 24/04/2022 20:31

I don’t think he should be getting his children involved in arguments between adults.

Maydaysoonenough · 24/04/2022 20:46

In the midst of the next row I would ring his ex to come collect her dc. If you aren't prepared to protect yourself from abuse at least get the dc the hell out of there...

Cherrysoup · 24/04/2022 20:55

This is massively abusive. Please phone Women’s Aid, how can you live with him? He’s horrific.

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