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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Coming to terms with my marriage and its effect

2 replies

ValerieCupcake · 24/04/2022 11:15

It ended several years ago and it was very unhappy. I'm doing a lot of soul searching about it. I married him within 6 months. I got all the blame for everything. He showed weird signs and red flags early but I still married him. He was controlling. He wanted me to stop seeing friends. He called them slags and slappers and bad influences.

After I had been married 14 months and sick of it all I had a few dates with someone else. He was 20 and I was 22. I am not proud of it but I didn't have sex or an affair. My husband hit me when he found out and his mother said I deserved it. He knocked me into the bed frame and my face bruised.

A song has just come on the radio and it reminds me of before that time. It was a work party at a really good restaurant. Someone's leaving party. It was only work colleagues not partners, I can't remember if my husband drove me there but I know he came to collect me.

He came to pick me up at 9pm which was far too early. He had a tantrum when I didn't leave immediately. He expected me to be watching for him turning up and to leave. I hadn't finished eating. It was a really good night. I'd enjoyed getting ready to go out and putting an outfit together. He said I was selfish and he felt like his nose pushed up at the window of a toy shop he couldn't afford toys from. He said that the reason partners were not invited was so that staff could "cop off with each other"

I still remember that evening and the anticipation. I felt like a prisoner out on day release. This was about 9 months before I "cheated" if you like to call it that. I don't know what I would call it.

OP posts:
pocketbunny · 24/04/2022 11:20

Glad you are out of this marriage OP.

ValerieCupcake · 24/04/2022 12:57

pocketbunny · 24/04/2022 11:20

Glad you are out of this marriage OP.

It was a nightmare that went on for 11 years. I am spending time looking at what made me do it in the first place.

OP posts:
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