If you have 50/50 or near it with co parent- when did you start enjoying your ‘free’ time?

[Singlemummy2]

I’ve been separated almost 2 years from ex husband and have 5 year old twins. I still feel such sadness when my children are with their dad. I know I should be using that time for myself but I just can’t really enjoy it. Practically the time is useful of course as I can get the house cleaned, go to get my groceries etc, I do also have lots of family and friends and a new boyfriend of 6 months so I have plenty of people to spend time with but that ache of missing them is always not far from the surface.
how did you reframe this do see it as a positive or how long did it take for this mind shift to change?

No advice as I’m only a couple of months into this but following to see what others say really. Like you I get stuff done so my time with the kids has minimal chores to do etc, and keep busy but I find it really hard.

I partly use it to progress my career. So child free time has enabled me to throw my weight into my career and get promoted several times. I don't like being without my children but doing long days at work when they are with their dad has really helped my career. And means I prioritise them when they are with me.

I also have hobbies I enjoy and I love reading and seeing friends. So I try and really make the most of the time.

I don't think I will ever stop missing them, and wishing I could have more time with them. But it is better than being with an abusive ex.

Try to imagine your life without it 🤣? I am a lone parent and my ex refuses to see our child so I never get a break, ever, can’t date, can’t meet friends, no social life, I would kill for a regular break, try to see the positive side?