I hate so much about my husband after having baby

[hyounhee]

My daughter is 7 months old, and she's our first baby. A few months ago, I first noticed how much anger I have inside me. I fantasize smashing things with baseball bat and throwing plates outside. My husband has been really amazing, he tries so hard to listen to me and find solutions to relieve my anger. He goes for a long walk with the baby to give me a break, suggests me to do things that I like doing.

But I feel hatred towards him multiple times a day. Since I had the baby, I realized what a control freak I am. I am cautious with everything, while my husband is more relaxed and want to raise our baby tougher. I think it's probably how I was raised, my parents were very strict and cautious when they raised me. Because I know how suffocating it can be, so I think it's actually great that my husband's relaxed approach balances it out. So I try to internalize a lot, and so many times when I want to say something to my husband, I try to hold back now. And it's becoming really hard and I am just constantly angry at him.
"Why doesn't he check the food's temperature before feeding her?" "Why does he dress her so lightly when taking her out?"
I hate him so much that I even hate how he hums and makes stupid noises to entertain the baby. I am worried and sad that I am driving my husband mad, and I'm ruining our relationship.

I am seeing the health visitor next monday for a check up on our baby, maybe I will talk to her about it. I just wanted to share it here in the hopes of hearing some advices/thoughts...

Usually when we are full of rage for no good reason (and it certainly doesn’t sound as though you have good reason), then it’s a mental health issue. Could be stress/anxiety or PND. Either way you need help. Talking to your HV or GP would be a good place to start.
Hope you manage to get some help and start to feel better soon.

Could be hormonal. I would speak to a gp if your health visitor doesn’t take it seriously.

Intense, irrational rage is a classic PND sign. Do speak to your HV/GP.

I used to get serious rage when I was breastfeeding and it stopped soon after I stopped which suggests it was hormonal. If you feel like it's affecting your relationship and it's irrational the. I would speak to your GP as it could be a sign of PND x

After I had my 3rd dc, I really felt I hated dh for no good reason. I spoke to the Gp and got diagnosed with pnd which surprised me because I hadn’t had it with my first 2 dc.

I started taking anti depressants and, it took a while, but I got better. I think you need to be completely open with your hv and hopefully she can signpost you to some help.

Yup, been there op. I accused my DH of having an affair because he......................................offered to clean the picture rail. I was raging, as this obviously meant that I was a slattery and he had someone else who was cleaning constantly. Bonkers, I know. I had PND, he persuaded me to tell the HV how I was feeling and I received treatment and support.

I had this after both my babies. I do think it's A Thing, but it doesn't make you feel any better. Do chat to the HV and ask about PND. I don't know whether it's something you can raise with your DH because there's not a great deal he can do about it really, but if your relationship was good before you had your baby it's worth hanging in there because hormones are bastards. Nobody tells you about this stuff when you get pregnant and it totally knocks you sideways.
Sending unmumsnetty hugs .

Thank you so much @Chuzzle @Cuddlemuffin @LidlMissSunshine @MissyB1 @Nailest @NutCheeseBag @Pollydonia I will talk to the hv when i see her tomorrow.