Single parent - could I cope

[RachelJoeyMonica]

In a very new relationship and newly pregnant. I have always wanted kids but never really thought about the detail as it seemed so far away. I need to consider how I would cope as a single parent. My partner is a high earner (110k) and has said he would support us but I know also that we are not married and I cannot rely on that. I am so worried.

my situation is I have around 160 equity in a 280k home. I have 10k savings. I have a totally shit car that I couldn’t have a child in as it wouldn’t be safe. I work full time on 60k but this will absolutely take a hit as I would have to cut hours/maybe days. Childcare seems to be around 1500 a month?! And I have no support elsewhere in terms of practical. I also have student loans I am still paying off for another year and I learnt yesterday that my maternity pay is only full for six months. After that it seems to go down to 550 ish which wouldn’t even cover my outgoings. Things like prams seem to be hundreds if not thousands. I have credit card debt of 5k. I have no idea what it costs to even feed a baby. What about nappies. I’m so worried.

I’m mid 30s and literally nobody in my social circle has kids. I’m so worried and just looking for a reality check I think/some support.

You will be fine. 6 months full pay maternity is great! Financially you’re in a good starting position but also consider:

-If you are only in very early pregnancy you have 7-8 months to save
-You will accrue holidays whilst off on maternity leave that you can add to the end
-you may get some child benefit, particularly if your earnings drop
-you will be able to claim child maintenance from your partner if you split and he won’t support you voluntarily
-you can buy things like prams, cots, clothes, toys etc second hand, babies grow so fast there’s a huge second hand market on marketplace, ebay etc. The only things you need to buy new are a cot mattress and pram
—you can get tax free childcare which is 20% off up to a certain point
-your child will be entitled to some free hours when they are 3

Your question is really, can i afford to do this on my own? Childcare, is it obtainable,vworkable, affordable?

Do not give up your job to move in with a boyfriend especially if it's a new relationship, even if, especially if he earns more. Money is power and you'll end up persuaded to put your own interests second.

Congratulations on your pregnancy though, you can do it on yr own.

Hi! Congratulations on your happy news :) You could 100% cope, I'm 16, my son is 3 months old and I don't rely on anyone for financial support, I have bought everything for him, and I'm not struggling for money (I've even added to my savings) the trick is to be as money-smart as possible. You have to ask yourself the question do the materialistic things matter to me? My trick was to buy pre-loved things, as long as they are of good quality, from a smoke free and pet free home, there is literally no difference from buying something new. Of course, something has to be bought new but there are always cheaper alternatives. I know that having a baby is such a scary thing, let alone weighing up whether you can actually provide for that baby. Remember that you are amazing and do what you feel is best for you, you've got this mumma xxx

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I know you're panicking but you are an incredibly strong financial position, especially compared to most single mums.
Don't give up your job/career.
Ensure the father pays for half the childcare costs (at least!).
You can buy a new car or do without one depending on where you live.
Baby things cost whatever you're prepared to pay from them, you could go mad in Harrods or you could look on eBay/nearly new sales.
You'll be absolutely fine.

Yes you definitely can :) so firstly congrats!!’
I had my son as a teenager with minimal support and no job. Wasn’t easy but muddled through - don’t think my son realised he had eff all for
most of his life. Things are pretty easy now and I can’t even remember struggling very much altho I know I did

good luck
we can do so much more than we give ourselves credit for :)

I survive and I'm a single parent. You just learn to cope.

of course you will be fine, even if you split you can claim cm and he is a high earner. I manage on my own with no child maintenance literally zero, so you will be in a better position than a lot of people.

I think you will be fine. It sounds like your panicking as all was unplanned and you don’t know if you can rely on new man. Personally I would prepare to stand on my own 2 feet and keep my job. Take 6 months maternity leave. But your relationship may up a level by that time which means you could cut down your hours. Take one day at a time. I wouldn’t panic about the car yet. Just concentrate on all things baby related. If you and partner don’t last he will have to pay maintenance. A few single parents I know choose to work part time as they are entitled to more financial assistance. Good luck.

Yes you can do it, go for it. Don’t cut your hours though, just pay for childcare. It is expansive until they go to school then is a much smaller proportion of your income. Keep your full time job. You will be glad you did in the long run as it is often hard to increase hours. Take a much flexibility as your employer will offer, so that you and the father can share drop offs. I would go for it, you’re mid 30s, you could miss your chance of children otherwise