Has anyone had experience with this. I know we can't diagnose. I don't mean when someone's just a jerk. I mean when someone clearly has s huge issue.
I was always happy and peaceful until I met "Gary " he gave me alot of intense feelings in the begining. Seemed amazing. I fancied him when j met him. So when we started texting he seemed extra amazing. Just sounded like a genuine lovely man who had had a couple of rough years and now was rebuilding his life.
Rather than type out millions of this and that happened I'll bullet point some things that happened.
- Mentioned his last ex and he kept in touch. Throughout the story of their split changed. It sounds like he was messaging other women and he definitely got into a fling whilst still trying to repair his relationship with his ex and still living with her.
*The woman he had a fling with left her husband as he had convinced her he was starting a life with her.
*He met me and he had depression. Chronic back pain which was true. He was an ex alcoholic too and has history of suicidal attempts and thoughts. I've seen proof of his hospital stays it's all true.
- He was a tad too invested in detail. Nails. Hair. Colours that suited me. How he'd prefer me to have my hair. Questioning me on why I don't wear shorts. Arguing with me I could tan if I tried. I'm pale and I do not tan I got red and freckly.
*Suggesting brands and they were what his ex used.
*Stories changing
*Women dramas
*No savings. Bad with money. Always borrowing.
- 49 and nothing to show for himself in terms of a house or car or decent furniture yet he's worked and earned brilliant money.
*No relationship with family to the point he is alone at Christmas. Eats toast. Ignores the day.
*No friendships.
*No social life. Has s couple of dodgy people round for a cuppa but that's it.
*Prefers his dog to people.
*Drama in his life. Always drama. Fights. Stories about his exes and other men. People robbing him etc.
*Can't let go of the past.
*Uninterested in my friends and family. Told me not to tell him anything about these people as it's just gossip. Then he will gossip to Me.
*Women on Facebook. Getting an over interest in women he's not seen for 20 odd years and offering them support if he sees they have addiction etc.
*Always asking if he looked ok. Claimed to have no confidence. Always thinking about his outfits. Saying he thought he looked cool.
Claimed he was brought up to treat women well and then he's calling me a cu* and throwing me out the house.
*Shut me down if I tried to talk. Couldn't handle me being upset or quiet. Wouldn't discuss things. Banned me from sending messages if they were questioning. But if I spoke to his face he'd get angry and throw me out.
*Accused me of being insecure. Paranoid.
*His tele got stolen but he was way too calm about it. I think he sold it.
*Always buying weed but never got me a birthday card. We were in a stage of silent treatment. But still.
*Always getting me to do his forms and phone calls. Sorted his shopping for him
*Always made comments about other people having money. Wandering why other people get everything so easy etc.
- Walks past people who do similar work he can do and always points out they did a bad job and he was a perfectionist.
*Made out he was OCD and said I was messy but his house was filthy in terms of grease, dust and mucky carpets. Never hoovered etc. He was tidy but didn't clean much. He claimed he didn't care because it was not his house.
Angry and negative. Couldn't see positives. Didn't like me being happy or chatty. Would act uninterested if he wasn't center of my attention.
Blew hot and cold.
Always had stories of stalkers.
The list goes on and on. He lacked empathy. Cruel. Selfish.
His grown daughters had cut him off due to him borrowing money etc.
Just an all rounder but he hid it well at first.
Any one else experienced this.