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Fed up of OLD

27 replies

Shunter350 · 23/04/2022 00:58

Bloke here .. ( I know that annoys some )..
Utterly fed up with OLD .. just suspended my account.
Blocked ( again ) by a woman who "liked" me who took umbrage when I said I was chatting to another.
I'm so fed up of false profiles and everybody just sitting about looking at each other.
I'm now messaging the current lady via WhatsApp. It's all very platonic, it's nice ( so is she - we've met ) but she sees only friendship, but I want to see how this goes.
I feel guilty chatting to others so I'm suspending. Give myself a break.
Rant over..

OP posts:
yousexybugger · 25/04/2022 08:26

I'm pig sick of OLD too. Last one was, I think, an abuser in the making.

Anyway. I think your 'strategy', so to speak, needs a tweak.

You're investing in a woman who has said she only sees friendship with you. Why? Ok, relationships can emerge from friendships but she has said that she sees it as platonic so why not take her word at that, enjoy your chats but talk to others who may see you romantically.

Also, on OLD, certainly until you have had a date, it is expected that you would be chatting to others too. It's how OLD works. It is not necessary to say so explicitly which yes, draws attention to the drawbacks of the medium and makes someone feel less special. I once called off a date when a match told me all about another date a couple of days before we met. It was all done in the spirit of openness and camaraderie, I didn't hold it against him, but some discretion is needed to make it work. Of course, if asked outright then don't lie, but there was no need to offer this info.

Keep chats short and meet quickly to sift out those you'd like to know better. You don't get to know people better by chatting online for weeks (even with facetime). Then, after a date or two, if you want to continue, move to seeing one exclusively. If you prefer to chat to only one, fine, but if they only want friendship then it's likely a hiding to nothing. Personally I prefer not to kiss or do anything physical with more than one at once, also get exhausted with too many chats so do keep it limited.

Shunter350 · 25/04/2022 11:44

yousexybugger · 25/04/2022 08:26

I'm pig sick of OLD too. Last one was, I think, an abuser in the making.

Anyway. I think your 'strategy', so to speak, needs a tweak.

You're investing in a woman who has said she only sees friendship with you. Why? Ok, relationships can emerge from friendships but she has said that she sees it as platonic so why not take her word at that, enjoy your chats but talk to others who may see you romantically.

Also, on OLD, certainly until you have had a date, it is expected that you would be chatting to others too. It's how OLD works. It is not necessary to say so explicitly which yes, draws attention to the drawbacks of the medium and makes someone feel less special. I once called off a date when a match told me all about another date a couple of days before we met. It was all done in the spirit of openness and camaraderie, I didn't hold it against him, but some discretion is needed to make it work. Of course, if asked outright then don't lie, but there was no need to offer this info.

Keep chats short and meet quickly to sift out those you'd like to know better. You don't get to know people better by chatting online for weeks (even with facetime). Then, after a date or two, if you want to continue, move to seeing one exclusively. If you prefer to chat to only one, fine, but if they only want friendship then it's likely a hiding to nothing. Personally I prefer not to kiss or do anything physical with more than one at once, also get exhausted with too many chats so do keep it limited.

Thank you. The attraction for me is that she's nice, kind and local. We share similar interests or view points.
I find that unusual. I've also done distance stuff and it doesn't work.
We have met and she seemed interested but messaged me about the friendship thing.
I said I would think about it which she replied to immediately "please do".
We both work shifts and have other commitments but message every night more or less.
She's always warm in her messaging.
Others here have said that maybe she's just being cautious, after all I've no idea of her recent dating history. However I think she's worth the wait. I've rushed into relationships before, I'll not lie, sex is great but it can't sustain a relationship. I've learned that lesson.
I've taken a break from OLD anyway. I already feel less pressure!

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