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Why do so many long term relationships seem to end after having children?
31
ohlittlemy · 22/04/2022 21:12
I see this a lot and always used to think it was odd although now I’m almost in the same situation 😕
OP's posts:See all
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Loopytiles · 23/04/2022 00:16
Because many men who want to be fathers are unwilling to share parenting and domestic work (which hugely increases after DC).
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Flickflak · 23/04/2022 00:22
Because too many men see parenting and domestic duties as womens work. I’m grateful I’m not married to a dinosaur but many of my friends are and they are exhausted.
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PickAChew · 23/04/2022 00:25
Because some men are fucking useless when it comes to being a grown up.
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Shunter350 · 23/04/2022 00:28
Because having kids can and will cause stress in a household ( as well as joys and a sense of fulfilment) which will test a LTR.
In many cases the intimacy enjoyed by a coupe will deteriorate, usually caused by the stress and sheer exhaustion.
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Anonymoushelpneeded · 23/04/2022 00:40
So….never a doubt in my mind when I married my husband. He was my best friend and soul mate, or so I thought . However, since having children (8 and 10) things have changed….he has zero interest in me as a wife, he ignores me most of the time (he is a total introvert and was fine when just me be him. It now kids are involved he can’t cope with all of us so uses his energy on the kids) . It’s like I am a slave (housework etc even though I also work full time). He is a great Dad but has admitted I come last in his priorities (work first, then kids, then his time, then me). Married for 12 years and has pretty much been like this since second child was born. Came to a head last summer and he admitted we weren’t in live but he wanted to try. I have been trying for YEARS and examined over and over that if we don’t have any intimacy, (4.5 years and counting!), or relationship then we would go out separate ways.
He has just realised this is how it is but the problem is I have already moved on in my head. I tried sooooo hard for years with nothing in return and put my defences up and have had someone tell me they love me (and I have strong feelings for them as they were there for me when my dad died etc and DH just wasn’t at all). DH is now trying but it is just too little too late. I hate myself that it is too little too late and resent him for only just making the effort.
I’m so scared to break up the family for DC’s sake but don’t I deserve to be happy too? Or am I being selfish?
Should have said lack of intimacy is his choosing, not mine. I am desperate for intimacy. I don’t think he is cheating, he just sorts himself out and is fine with that