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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me get a grip

1 reply

tinseltits21 · 22/04/2022 15:11

My ex boyfriend of 18 months didn't treat me very well - it was a classic anxious/avoidant relationship, where he would put me down and criticise and belittle me as well as devaluing me and our relationship but occasionally would be nice to be and I lived for those moments and became addicted to the highs and lows. I am now in a relationship with a completely different guy who treats me a lot better and I am much happier in myself.

However, I have just seen on fb that ex boyfriend has been away on holiday with his new gf and I feel a bit sick having seen the photos. I am angry that he is happy (I would like to be the bigger person and wish him well but he caused me so much distress that I'm not there yet and I still wish him a lifetime of misery) and that he has gone abroad with her - he refused to go abroad with me because it was too expensive and so we only ever holidayed in his mum's holiday home in England because it was cheap. He would only let me stay for a maximum of 4 days whilst he would stay for 7. So now all those thoughts of 'why is she better than me?' 'how come he went abroad with her?' 'I wonder if he let her stay for a whole week?' etc are surfacing. This makes absolutely NO sense as I know I am happier, calmer and more settled without him and I would never want to get back with him.

Someone talk some sense into me!

OP posts:
randomx · 22/04/2022 15:48

Ahhhh , well l dunno about sense , but unfortunately usually one or the other jumps straight into something else , l'd like to think they don't very often get anywhere though they're just a rebound.
But eh, don't follow ex's on fb and stuff, just leave it or your gonna see something that upsets you for sure.
But you know, as far as being in a place to wish him well , you don't have to be in that place, ever. lt doesn't mean staying angry or bitter, it just means you don't feel like faking wishing him well, and there's nothing wrong with that.

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