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Original poster

Do I have the Ick?

8 replies

SoDamnUnpretty · 21/04/2022 17:28

I am 18 months into a relationship and I thought everything was lovely. He's very respectful and kind, great sex and generally him being around makes life nicer and more enjoyable. Until recently. We had a brief disagreement over dinner one night, it was quite small, he made a comment about the future/ kids that was a bit thoughtless (he doesn't have children, I do). I told him that it was insensitive and he apologised, agreed that I was right and we moved on. Except since then, everything he does just sickens me! The sound of him eating, the way he drinks his tea- just everything. I'm gutted if I have actually got the ick, as I really liked him and hoped that this would work out. How do you know if it is just a weird phase or if I'm never going to get the nice feelings again? - Don't live together or any massive ties like that.

OP posts:
LidlMissSunshine · 21/04/2022 17:32

What was the comment?

Aquamarine1029 · 21/04/2022 17:43

Sometimes there can be just one thing that turns the tide, and there's no going back. You saw a side of him you can't reconcile. I'd be moving on.

chisanunian · 21/04/2022 17:51

The rose-tinted specs have come off. Sorry.

Original poster
SoDamnUnpretty · 21/04/2022 18:38

@LidlMissSunshine - We we're discussing the future and where we would live when the children are adults and I said I wouldn't want to be too far from them, and he said something along the lines of "they might not want to see you anyway" like just fairly thoughtless. But I come from a family where this is the case with our mother and I am hoping that I'm building a far better relationship with my own children.

OP posts:
mothertrucking · 21/04/2022 18:41

It sounds to me like he's just hit a nerve with you. I'd possibly give the benefit of the doubt but it does also sound like you have a touch of the ick.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/04/2022 18:42

SoDamnUnpretty · 21/04/2022 18:38

@LidlMissSunshine - We we're discussing the future and where we would live when the children are adults and I said I wouldn't want to be too far from them, and he said something along the lines of "they might not want to see you anyway" like just fairly thoughtless. But I come from a family where this is the case with our mother and I am hoping that I'm building a far better relationship with my own children.

That was a very callous thing for him to say, and totally unnecessary. I would not be impressed.

You might have glimpsed a side of him you haven't seen yet.

Watchkeys · 21/04/2022 18:46

I don't think you can label these things. He's upset you. You either decide to leave or to give it a certain amount of time to see if you recover your previous feelings.

LidlMissSunshine · 21/04/2022 22:03

Hmm, that comment on its own doesn’t sound particularly bad.

But the ick isn’t rational. And once you’ve got it, you can’t go back.

Sounds like you and he are done.

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