Hi.
Think l saw a thread why do men join well, bc l'd like womens opinion , how's that.
Long story sorry.
Divorced 9yrs ago and met somebody very special nearly 4yrs ago. Her base however was 12hrs away and she was in a pretty bad legal situation at the time to do with her own divorce .
l feel terrible saying this but for the first 2yrs she would fly down to mine , stay a mth , or 2, some 3 and the idea was early on that she'd move in within the first yr or so butttt,
But when the time came l just couldn't commit to that, l just needed more time l wanted to be more sure. Her legal stuff was also very complicated and was going to take a couple of yrs and at around the 2yrs mark, we had to decide was she going to stay and transfer all that to my state , or go back and fight it in hers.
lf she went back at that stage she'd have to stay there until it was settled.
Well 13mths later it finally settled about 3mths ago but there were conditions and so she's had to stay longer since and work on those. Well this also meant she'd have to survive while she was there so she started studying which she gets paid for , she's needed to find a new place to live and it goes on.
And now , she won't be able to move back down to me at mine , until December.
That'll make it near 2yrs apart.
Well , we've kept our relationship going very well actually for a long time and l've been up to see her a few times to.
But 1stly, lately things are feeling weird and l'm just not sure how l'm feeling anymore or if we're even still us. lt's been so long and so much time apart, surviving on messaging and calls but no real time together for so long now, l don't even know anymore.
And 2ndly, we've already waited all this time but it seems everyday at her end things get more and more complicated and involved again bc she's basically starting from scratch again just to even stay there this yr and finish what she has to do.
But it just seems one thing then another then another and it has been. Well, l've put in nearly 16mths like this so far and now until Dec' on top of that will be over 2yrs.
lt is largely my fault bc if l'd let her move in back when, all the crap she's gone through up there could've been down here with me , and this stuff she's going through now, wouldn't even be happening well, not apart anyway. We'd be back on with our life.
Well , as l say l'm not sure right now how l'm feeling, it's been so long and the few visits l did were short and rushed and from mine it's a damn long and very expensive trip. Well there just wasn't enough time and we were both stressed to especially her with all the stuff she's got going on.
Butttt, l'm not sure how she feels either, or at elast how real it is anymore. She still says she loves me and she'd rather just be alone if we weren't together she wouldn't be with anyone else.
But at the same time, some of this stuff she's involved with, doesn't really have to be, yet it seems more and more is coming up. Sometimes l feel like for now maybe it's December, but then it's be next yr , and later and something else.
She says words like about but on the other hand doesn't really seem in any hurry to get back here and on with our life. lt's like every wk there's another excuse to stay long hence atm it's until Dec.
And l was suppose to go up to see her Jul , but even with that now she's saying she'll probably have to be studying so much that it probably won't even be worth bothering to go.
But at the same time doesn't even seem fussed about waiting until December after that if l didn't go Jul.
We're also no where near as lovey lately as we'd normally have been.
l dunno , after all this time it's a huge ask bc things are dying back with us l'm not even sure myself anymore right now bc it's just been so long. And tbh, she seems kinda half hearted like she's say beautiful words butttttt, l'm not even sure how real they are anymore.
Well , not getting any young later 50s and it'll be well over 4yrs by Dec , but l sort of feel the way she's going by Dec' there might even be something else anyway and more delays.
l'm just not sure how real she is anymore, or whether to keep waiting on this, or what.
l mean her situation is very very comeplicated and stressful, she's sick with stress. l can't even mention half of it here, and she's been going through it for 2yrs, buttttt. Whether there's more to it, to wait and trust it, or wth , l just don't know anymore.
Maybe there'll be some female insights here , on her side of things , any thoughts would be very appreciated.
rx