The final stages of divorce with a controlling narc…

[ByeByeMissAmericanPie]

Is it my imagination or do they ramp their behaviour up?

My STBEX and I have had a very neutral and business like communication set up in an effort to keep our legal costs down. We are on the final furlong when he suddenly gets really abusive. Again.

As he knows which buttons to press, I’m really struggling with this. He was financially controlling during our marriage so I’m wondering if it’s ‘losing’ his money to me that’s set it off.

Anyone else with similar experience?

Didn’t want to leave you with no responses.
I'm not an expert but my xh is a narcissist.
My only advice is keep the businesslike tone at all times. Emails only.
I used to rant about him to friends and often bashed out draft replies to emails which said what I really wanted to say, then deleted them and sent the formal response.
It took a long time but he learned. And now I don’t react.
I learned too.

Sending you strength 💪

Agree that not reacting seems to be the key. Also, once you realise that everything they do and say is designed to keep you under their control - and that what they say has no truth in reality - your world will become brighter.

Deep breaths, as this is a marathon which you are entirely capable of finishing.

Thank you @onitlikeacarbonnet and @thestraitofillinois

Fine advice.

I’ve been living apart from him for 2 years, trying to get my sense of normality re tuned to how it should be… but it’s like disappearing down a rabbit hole with him.

Its certainly a marathon and not a sprint. My energy for this ebbs and flows.