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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please

7 replies

Bridget944 · 20/04/2022 22:33

I've been with my partner 2 years, we have a 10 month old baby. It happened very fast. I am now at the point in the relationship where I'm at the lowest and very miserable. He has not technally cheated on me but dogey things keep showing on his phone. Adding and searching other females on social media, snapchat insta ect. Liking photos, viewing females stories who he doesn't have as a friend. Deleting messages. I also had a very emotionally hard pregnancy i didnt feel support and felt lonely and cold. My partner was against me keeping the baby which I understand as was far too soon but now he is a great dad and I can tell he loves him loads. I love him so much more than I've ever loved anyone but lately I just feel resentment and anger and its affecting our whole relationship. It's like the more I love him the more everything that went on hurts. I dont think he would ever physically cheat but constantly tells me white lies and can never apolagise or say sorry which is a massive thing for me. I've tried taking to him it just ends him trying to convince me ive over reacted. I have little tollerence left. (hense why ive come on a forum as last resort). Nothing breaks my heart more than us separating with such a young baby. I can't imagene him with anyone else. He is a great dad and although I'd never stop contact I worry he would try and take me to court and nothing frightens me more than not having custody of my baby boy. Ive came on here as I just think I would find a little comfort in strangers rather than my friends and am feeling very lost :( had anyone had any simular situations? Did it ever get better or am I just prolonging the hurt

OP posts:
chisanunian · 20/04/2022 22:53

He is not a great dad. Great dads don't treat the mother of their children the way he treats you.

Shoxfordian · 21/04/2022 06:04

He’s cheating on you consistently

Don’t put up with it

HappyToSmile · 21/04/2022 06:49

Take a step back and think logically. What do you actually love about him apart from he's a "great dad and really loves his son"? Do you think maybe you just love the idea of what he was/could be?

Aprilx · 21/04/2022 07:36

I do not share your conviction that he would never cheat, sounds like he would the moment he gets opportunity, if he hasn’t already.

This isn’t going to get better, it is only going to get worse and then he probably will leave in the end anyway. Take control of the situation.

Watchkeys · 21/04/2022 09:03

I love him so much more than I've ever loved anyone but lately I just feel resentment and anger and its affecting our whole relationship

It's not you feeling resentment that's affecting the relationship, you rightly feel resentful that he's fucked up your trust in him. Resentment is the appropriate feeling, when someone treats you this way, it's not something to be upset about because it's ruining your relationship.

What would happen if you indulged the resentment? How would you behave? What would you say to him, if you let your resentment loose?

frozendaisy · 21/04/2022 09:14

This post is all about him.
What about you?
Personally he wouldn't be enough for me as a life partner.

Bridget944 · 21/04/2022 20:50

I feel like with becoming i mum all my energy has just been put into making sure My child is happy, I don't really know 'me' anymore, just know I love him but don't see a happy ending at the moment just wish things were different :(

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