constant need for praise

[shellyr1989]

been with my bf for 4 years.. was always obvious he craved praise but this last few months its driving me insane. anything he does he expects an audience and absolute praise for every little thing..hes an electricain and recently fitted a new light in our home and expeted me and all kids to admire and tell him how great it is.. this eve he mowed the back lawn i said great job when he finished..he then did our tiny front lawn..came in sanppy and clearly irritated.. appartently annoyed i hadnt commented on the job he did on the tiny front lawn..every little thing has to be praised or else there is a tantrum..is this normal

He sounds like a big baby. Must drive you mad. Does he dish out praise?

Unfortunately I have known a lot of men that think they should get a gold star for every minor job they accomplish, but most of them have the good grace not to be snappy if they don’t get one.

Id have asked him if he wants a bloody medal long before this.

Does he praise you?

Get a packet of stickers, sticky on stars.

he does praise me but i wouldn't thrown a tantrum if i didnt get praise for mowing a tiny lawn..i think in a long term relationship a mutual appreciation should be understood and not needed to be verified for every mundane everyday task.. he cannot do anything round the house without expecting the highest of praise

Google Love Languages..Words of Affirmation is one and I suspect his! Also I've no way of knowing your dynamic, why he reacted like that or what was even said but I come from a family that will say thank you a thousand times enthusiastically which others can find a bit much but being used to that kind of Italian type enthusiasm can make a half hearted 'thank you' or lack of thank you stand out like a slap in the face! :-)

I try never to sound ungrateful and understand people and familes have different levels of showing appreciation.. However a few days ago he started a new job nothing unfamiliar just differnt employer better money and perks etc so all day i spent the day preparing a roast dinner for him all his faves as a nice thing for him to come home too.. And je5 literally just said he wasnt hungry.. No thank you or any form of appreciation.. I feel like praise should be a mutual thing

Why not act like he does then?

My exh did this and it drove me insane. He’d go to the shops once and buy a loaf of bread or something and then at breakfast say to the kids “how’s your toast this morning? Your dad got your favourite bread at Tesco for you” while the kids and I just looked at him like 🙄

Oh well yeah in that case by my books he'd not be getting any praise and no longer any roast dinners! 😂

Have you talked to him about it, and the fact that he's driving you nuts with it? If so, what did he say? If not, what stops you?

Would life be easier if you lived separately but still dated, then you won't have to praise him for everything in the house.

My ex used to do this. He cleaned the bathroom once when I was heavily pregnant and woke me up from my nap to tell him what a good job he'd done. I wanted to flush his stupid grinning face down the toilet!

Does he have excessive need for praise or does he need you to be excessively grateful?

If he has a need for appreciation it's likely that it would be mutual but that doesn't seem to he the case. Assume you live together so provide benefits that he doesn't thank you for?

How does he react if you raise issues with him?

So all your children had to go and look at a light their dad had fitted and say ‘wow daddy well done you’re so great thank you for creating light daddy woweeeeee.’

What a joke. How do you manage daily life? If DH and I thanked each other every time one of us did anything that benefited the family we’d never stop.

Thank you for waking the children. You’re welcome, thank you for opening the window. You’re welcome, thank you for cooking breakfast. You’re welcome, thank you for dressing the children. It’s exhausting. You’re two grown adults, you don’t need to be saying ‘oh good job sweetie on mowing the back garden grass good job on mowing the front garden grass what a bit strong helpful boy you are cootchy wootchy coo.‘