Feel so sorry for children from a first marriage who then get dumped when dad remarries

[Pinkgrasshopper2022]

I'm venting here as my heart goes out to not only my own kids but others who have had the same thing happen to them.
In my situation, my kids loved their dad and he was (at the time) a really loving dad. Husband then had an affair and got the OW pregnant so almost over night, we were all 'dumped". This of course was a massive trauma and awful for all of us. I've moved on as quite frankly, I think he's a cock, but my kids who are now young adults still seem hurt by missing out on their dad.
The OW has nothing to do with my kids and ex husband is about as wet as a dishcloth.
I just wondered if there is anyone else out there who grew up in a similar situation and who/if it affected their adult life?

I was dumped. My sperm donor went on to have another child who he has a relationship with but he just turned his back on us. I see my half sister and I'm not at all bitter. I was very lucky though as my mum met my wonderful dad who has been in my life for nearly 50 years. I'm very lucky.
I doubt I'd be so blasé about my useless pos donor if we hadn't had him in our lives. I'd probably be very hurt.

@Northernsoullover - so pleased you ended up with a good role model :)

My ex is more of a "love the kids of the woman your shagging at any given time" kind of man, rather than a "love your kids because they are your flesh and blood" man.

He is apparently daddy of the year to his step kids, meanwhile he hasn't seen my kids for years (all my fault, of course, for withholding them, even though they all have their own phones and make their own arrangements, but let's not let the truth get in the way of a good sob story).

Pisses me right off, but he's the dickhead who's missing out.

This happened to me although I was 18 when my dad had an affair and left. I still felt abandoned though. They didn’t have joint children but my step sister and her children had more of a relationship with
my dad than I did. It also affected my relationship with his side of the family, although if I had been able to drive I would have been able to see them so that’s on me really.

As an adult though I look back and wish I had been more forgiving. I feel like my children and me have missed out because of how abandoned I felt. I wish I’d worked in it. Probably not what you want to hear or very helpful but just wanted to let you
know the feelings of abandonment are real and nothing to do with how good my mum was and how fulfilling the rest of my life was

My uncle did this. Twice. He is a complete asshole. His poor kids, but at least now they are adults they understand he is the problem, not them.

Unfortunately I think this is really common - I think a lot of men bond with children via the woman, so when the relationship with the woman is severed, so to is the relationship with the child(ren).

I'm in the same boat really, myself and ex separated and divorced almost 10 years ago, his decision. He re married with a woman who has 2 children and now he doesn't see our 2 children, aged 10 and 11.

This happened to me, I was "grown" at 20 but my Dsis was only 14. My "DF" remarried a woman with a DC and he forgot all about us. Haven't spoken to him in 30 years.

Yes a relative of mine split with his wife. He then met another woman and her and her kids moved in with him. His kids never slept another night at his house. It then progressed to his kids not being welcome at all in the house. They are nc now.

Me! Probably a bit different because I was 18 when he left us, but I was so angry and hated him. After a few years of putting up with his narcissism, I went NC for over a decade. I finally got back in touch on my own terms when I had DD. We have a decent relationship now, but he’s more like an uncle than a dad I would say. Not close, but happy to chat.

My sister was younger, and was made to meet his new kids etc, and struggles a lot more with him now. Barely in contact.

But we’re both fine, and our mum is fine too. The 3 of us got through the awful first few years, and now couldn’t imagine our family any other way. On the other hand, my silly dad has umpteen more kids to support and will never be able to truly relax about money, ever. He’s entirely driven by money, so that’s sufficient punishment IMO.

My girls are adults now in their early twenties but my ex did this. He was encouraged by his new wife who said she really disliked kids at the time.

funnily enough she’s not finding it so “just natural” and “just the way of the world” now she and her kids have been dumped for a new girlfriend and her child.

I still find it hard to understand how easily these fathers disengage with children who were meant to be so important to them.

My DF’s second wife screamed at me to get out of the house when I arrived one weekend.
She lost out as my DF then took me out every Sunday, and she was left at home with her kids.
She was a cow who, I think, was jealous of me.

My dad had mutiple affairs throughout my childhood.
My parents divorced, he left for ow who got pregnant very quickly.
I also have a half brother from one of my dads affairs.
Dad had no interest in us.
I can forgive the affairs, i was happy when they divorced as my mum deserved better.
What i cant forgive is how i now struggle massively with relationships, i have relationship anxiety, i constantly think everyones going to leave me and feel not good enough. I think this stems more from his complete lack of interest in me or my sisters growing up.