I spoke to my boyfriend about this a few weeks ago. A woman we are both friends with has taken to bring very flirty with him in front of me since we got together. At the same time, she is less friendly with me - I no longer hear from her; messages I do send are not really responded to. There's a sense of 'hostility' now where there previously wasn't.
She has told me straight out previously that she was jealous of me when we first met and it took her a long time to warm to me. She has also told me that she thinks my boyfriend fancies her (all very childish, I know). I don't believe for a second that she has any genuine interest in him but she likes the idea that all the men fancy her (they don't) and I think she sees my social status as elevated since we got together. I believe this has caused her previous feelings towards me to resurface. And she is quite OTT around him. She is married.
I don't have any concerns at all that he does fancy her but I find her behaviour to be irritating and disrespectful and he hasn't shut it down adequately for me.
After we spoke about it, he reassured me he had no interest and would make sure she didn't have the opportunity to be flirty with him and he has stuck by this.
However...
During an unrelated conversation yesterday, he opened up a message he'd received from her to clarify some details about something. Again, I have no issue with them messaging. They're friends. But, the message from her was quite 'needy' and fishing for compliments and ended with a friendly "luv ya xxx" His response was to reassure her but not in an overly gushy way, more a "Yeah, don't worry about that. It's not something to worry about" type response but without actually flattering her and ended with a "luv ya xx". Again. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't bother me.
But then he scrolled back up, went too far and I caught a quick glimpse of 2 previous messages she'd sent which were littered with ❤ and 🥰 no response to either from him. I didn't see the content but I pretty much know they won't have been 'inapproproate' just a bit 'unnecessary'.
Again, I don't think there's anything going on but trust is a massive issue for me. I can't be with someone if I don't trust them 100% which is why I've never had a relationship last for more than 6 months and have spent most of my life single.
I don't want to be in a situation where I feel hostility. And I don't want to be with someone I can't trust to mean what they say. I hate the thought that she is being all needy and flirty around him thinking she has one over on me and I can't deal with the thought that maybe he is going to tell me what he thinks I want to hear and behave accordingly in front of me but then do differently 'behind my back'. Then again, he hasn't actually 'done anything' and I do trust him (not naively and I'm prepared to be proven wrong on it).
He doesn't behave inappropriately in response but isn't 'managing' the situation in the way I'd like. But then I'm not sure if the way I'd like is fair.
I don't know if it's worth telling him again how I feel about this or whether it's just a walk away situation. He isn't encouraging her but he isn't actively shutting it down either. He's just 'ignoring'.