Do I need to tell him? Help!

[worldcomesalive]

So I’ve recently started seeing a guy who I have history with. We’ve been on a few dates but he’s always been a really big deal in my life and vice versa, so there’s a lot of feelings there.

We only got back in touch recently and before this I was in a regular but highly casual fwb situation with a colleague/friend. There have never been romantic feelings on either side there and while the last time we slept together was a few weeks ago it was before anything with the current guy. I’m obviously going to call it off with the fwb.

My question is that surely I don’t need to actively mention this to my current “partner”, do I? I’m obviously going to carry on seeing my ex fwb because we work together and are friends, but we aren’t going to hang out alone or anything. I just feel as though maybe it’s like lying by omission but then there was zero overlap and all it would do would probably make him worry.

I’m not sure what the right thing is. I don’t think I’d ever expect him to tell me if it was the other way round, but I don’t want to be dishonest at all.

And when I say “going to call it off”, we never text or flirt or anything like that besides having sex when we’re drunk, so I’ll either text him or just tell him when I next see him. It’s not like there’s ongoing contact!!

You don't NEED to tell him anything. Has he asked if you're involved/have been involved with anyone and you said no? If not then it can't be lying can it.
If I was asked I'd tell the truth but I don't think I'd volunteer the information really, it's no ones business but yours.

@Fuckityfucksake he hasn’t asked anything and if he did I’d tell him. I agree with you really and I’m not sure why I’m stressing about something that happened before we were even dating 🤦🏻‍♀️

I can guess why - because way back when I first had FWB (Plural :))
it wasn't the done thing was it - nice ladies don't do that and all the other sexist shite and bullshit.
I sometimes questioned what a guy, who I'd enter in a relationship with would think of me doing that. It didn't last long to be fair, I stopped giving a fuck what others thought and binned any that did attempt to make me feel bad about MY choice of sexual encounters.

So my guess is you're probably worried about his opinion of you if he does find out. Please DON'T! as I said above you've done absolutely nothing wrong.

You're stressing about it because you're a nice person who wants to do the right thing!

However, you're not in a relationship or meeting regularly. I'm quite sure FWB will be seeing others too and I highly doubt that would be mentioned unless they had met someone they wanted to 'see' properly and you'd asked for a wee meet up so don't stress, enjoy getting to know your new partner Only mention it if it crops up because there is really no need.

I wouldn't say anything, you have no intentions to see fwb while dating the other guy, there's nothing to tell, you were single and that's your business, why cause any complications.

You don't need to tell him. You don't owe him the history of your sexual past.

Thanks everyone!

I really appreciate your inputs. I’m not going to say anything and I think you’re all totally right!