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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Possible abusive situation - advice

5 replies

ICantChoose · 19/04/2022 17:29

We live next to a block of flats and today I was getting my son in the car and suddenly heard a woman screaming loudly, fear screams, followed by a man shouting loudly. I've occasionally heard screaming before but thought it was children playing as balcony doors were closed and there's two young children living there (one looks low primary age and other is a toddler).

For context, the other week, the man who lives there was at his balcony and shouted at me to "keep the noise down" while I was getting my children in the car. I wasn't making any particular loud noises, neither were my children but as soon as my husband came out the door he looked surprised.

Today I asked two teenage boys who live in the flats if they ever heard any noise and they said they frequently hear a woman screaming and a man shouting throughout the night and day, but not early morning. I'm guessing from all this that there's some sort of abuse going on but I don't know how to approach it.

If I call the police, what if the lady denies anything out of fear and then her partner takes it out in her? Do I approach the lady in question? What do I do in this situation?

OP posts:
ICantChoose · 19/04/2022 19:45

Bump

OP posts:
SummerWhisper · 19/04/2022 23:43

Ring Women's Aid or 101 for advice. Don't do anything yet unless you hear the screams again and you suspect she is in danger. It is great that you are concerned and want to act to support this woman and also great that you have evaluated the risk to her if you do report.

ICantChoose · 20/04/2022 10:08

Thanks for the reply - I will be on the alert for any more screams etc and will ring who you have recommended. Not only do I feel for the woman but if there is abuse going on, surely those two young boys are suffering too ☹️

OP posts:
ImJustMum · 20/04/2022 10:25

You can report on 999 when its happening and they should be there on a blue light response. If you ask for a silent approach (ie no lights or sirens on arrival) theyres a chance they will be able to hear it themselves. Or if its not currently happening you can still report on 101. Both of which you can do anonymously and decline to give your details. This could also be the one chance shes looking for to get out. I would report it.

Maydaysoonenough · 20/04/2022 10:31

I have rang 999 when my ndn have been obviously fighting. Why wouldn't you?
The more people report your neighbours op the more chance ss will get involved for those poor dc... And the woman obviously.

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