Bringing children on dates

[AHungryCaterpillar]

So I’ve realised recently this is a thing people do (I’m not considering it myself 🥴) and I’m not talking with people they know, literally strangers including the first date! Would you have a date with a man who said he was going to bring his child as he has no one to leave them with?

No!!!!

I have done a lot of dating and had a lot of weird and inappropriate offers from men, none of them ever suggested bringing their child with them on a date though. No one in their right mind would do this.

No. Entirely inappropriate.

I’m on a group for single parents and women have stated they bring their children on dates because they have no child care, including first dates! I guess it’s something a woman would more likely do than a man given women are usually the RP.

No, but I have had dates with 2 people who both said they had first dates where the women brought their child with them. One stopped the date there and then, the other politely carried on the date.

To be fair my ex met my kids a lot sooner than I would otherwise have chosen because my babysitter let me down. His kids were with their mum and he had the night free so he suggested we go to the cinema and watch a film they would like. However at this point I’d been on a few other dates with him by ourselves - I certainly wouldn’t have done it as a first one

Someone online suggested he make a roast dinner for me and my kids at his house (his kids lived with him full time). I declined the offer, but as he said, if we were just friends hanging out then it wouldn’t be weird. He obviously didn’t get the whole “going to a strange man’s house” business, but I guess by including the kids it supposedly makes it less threatening.

It’s weird but I can see why some people might, especially if it’s a walk in the park or something day time-y. Dinner or drinks then obviously no!

This happened to me once, I went on a first date with a guy. To the park, we'd have a walk, sit in the sun and have an ice cream. He turned up with his son! I was so shocked, and looking back I can't believe I continued with the date. It was awful., And the way he was acting, it was like I was being interviewed for the step mother position.

I had to stop him changing his sons nappy in front of me, I was an absolute stranger and he was going to change him in full view, I had to insist he took his son to the park toilets. He thought I was the strange one!
Totally inappropriate.

He brought his child along without even telling you?! I assumed (wrongly!) That the people doing it actually ask the person first if it’s ok. Terrible to just turn up without saying a word. How awkward.

That's crazy. Bringing a child around a person who you don't know from Adam.

No, he didn't tell me he was bringing his kid, otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to it. Honestly it was mortifying , I arrived first and was sat waiting. He turned up with the kid in tow. It was like slow motion seeing him walk toward me with his child.

Hard no. I'd assume he was interviewing for a babysitter not a girlfriend.

I can’t even imagine that happening turning up and their child is with them! No warning wtf?.

The comments were along the lines of “my 5 month old came on a first date with me as she’s ebf” “my boys came on the first date with my current partner as they don’t see their dad and my mum was working, they also don’t like being away from me” 😳

Just NO! What are people thinking!

No way, completely inappropriate.

Only thing to do is cancel because you have no childcare, rearrange and apologise.

Plus you'd have to wonder about the person's boundaries in general if they'd do this on the first date.

Of course not! Well, I wouldn’t date a parent at all, but bringing a child along on a date is red flags galore.

Shows zero safeguarding, not prioritising their kid, a shocking lack of intelligence.

No. But I did date a man who said he'd had it happen a few times.

If you can't get a babysitter for a date then you're not in the place for a relationship.

Also makes you wonder what kind of person would actually agree to go on a date with someone that’s bringing their kid along.

My initial reaction is NO!

But I know a divorced man who seems very nice. However I just can't warm to his three primary aged DC (I generally like children) I do wonder if he met a new partner and then didn't get in with his children it could all have been a waste of time. So maybe if you get to meet the whole family on the first "date" you could save yourselves years of hassle

Naaah. Just makes me think it’s a taste of thing to come; things revolving round their children and having to act like step parent from the off. A big cringe and a no from me

You could bring your mums along on the date as well so you know what potential MIL will be like 🤣

What?

Dear god. Now I've heard everything

I very briefly dated a man who said his ex girlfriend would bring her 8 and 10 year old sons on their first few dates, then expect him to pay for a meal for them all, I find it weird that she would expect that and that he would go along with it to be honest.

Imagine those first date awkward getting to know you conversations with your kids sat listening or worse, if there's chemistry and they're flirting with you, it's just horrifyingly embarrassing!