Hi, I'd really ike an outsiders perspective on this, whether I did the right thing...
Me and my ex were together 15 years, and have 2 DC. We split about 4 years ago, as he wasn't nice to me, treated me like shit and had a temper, however we still remained sort of friends. I regret alot of things these past 4 years as we were still fwbs every now and then, and he used me alot and I was a mug, a lot of history and trauma.
He got a new girlfriend in October last year, moved in with her, her daughter and family by the November and proposed and they were married last week, so it's been a whirlwind for them.
These past 6/7 months we've only spoken when it's to do with the kids and I have been able to use this time to grow and move on, and I told him I was happy for them both and me and her get on well when we do drop off and pick ups.
Monday of last week, 5 days before his wedding he was at my door saying he needed to speak to me, I thought nothing of it and invited him in. What he wanted was sex from me, he was very pushy and kept asking, while I was saying no and to think about what he's doing. He was then moaning about her to me and I asked why are you getting married so fast then, and he said it felt right at the time. He then started trying to get me to have sex with him again, really pushy and in the end I started to cry and told him to go. He finally went and then called me apologising and saying maybe his GF is just stressed, and I said it was OK and they just needed to sit down and talk.
As the hours went by it started to sink in how messed up it was to do that and i got really upset. The following day he called me and asked if I could get our kids to get their hair cut for his wedding and I said no. He asked why I was short with him and was it because of yesterday. I blew up on him telling him that what he did was so wrong and that you're never gonna be happy in a marriage when you're lying and that she should have a choice knowing what happened. He told me that it's non of my business, he fucked up and that the stuff he said about her, he didn't mean it that way. I got really angry with him and told him how I've been moving on these past 6 months and I was doing great and now I feel I've been brought right back to square one. He asked if I was going to tell her, I said I wouldn't as, I didn't want to ruin his life, but if he's happy to get married keeping what he did, then that's up to him.
We hung up and he did get married on Saturday. I contemplated telling her, but a couple of close friends who I trust alot, told me not to say anything, as they could probably still get married, he could deny it and then I'd look like the crazy ex who desperately wants her ex back and then the hostility for drop offs and pick ups would be awful.
I spent a few days after what he did with so many emotions, but now I feel I'm back to my normal self again and ready to carry on, however am I just as bad for not telling her?