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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Asked someone out - first time in 20yrs!

13 replies

CordeliaBrideshead · 19/04/2022 07:24

I'm just coming out a long and unhappy marriage. FMH sold and I'm renting but just made an offer on a house 🤞

Slowly rebuilding my social life and stepping into the light after 2 yrs of hell. Finally got a sparkle in my eye and a smile on my face.

In my village, another couple split at the same time. I talk to the woman and she's often said that I'm more suited to her STBX. He's a quiet northerner. Introvert but once he knows you is more sociable. Quite deep and intelligent. I have always found him attractive.

We all live in the same village. My XH has moved away. This guys kids are younger but know mine. My son was buddy to his daughter when she was in reception.

Anyway chatting to his X (who ended it - I think she may be about to come out) she mentioned that she knew we'd been chatting in the pub the other night. I'd gone over to him as I sensed he'd hang back but it was friendly and we had a laugh. I was probably quite drunk too. He'd told her about this. They are having an amicable divorce unlike mine which has been acrimonious.

So I thought what the hell and got his number off her and texted him to invite him out for a beer. Sometime.

Of course that was 24hrs ago and I've not heard back yet. I can imagine him mulling it all over.

So how does it all work now? Does he ignore it if not interested? I leave it?

Another guy asked me out recently and I kind of gave a weak response but didn't agree to a date. He was v confrontational back and asked me if I was interested as he could handle rejection. I didn't reply.

I feel like I need to go to Dating school.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/04/2022 07:31

Ooh good luck!

ItWasPeculiarButBearable · 19/04/2022 07:33

Well done putting yourself out there OP! Keeping fingers crossed for you, and if he doesn’t reply it’s because he’s not right for you, not because of you!

coodawoodashooda · 19/04/2022 07:35

Good luck

HollowTalk · 19/04/2022 20:56

@CordeliaBrideshead did he reply?

Wherearemymarbles · 19/04/2022 21:15

He’s probably talking it over with his stbxw!
Good luck !

holly12435 · 19/04/2022 21:57

Go on girl. Go get it !!

CordeliaLOVEScocktails · 21/04/2022 06:36

No response :)

But he may feel weird the STBX involved as she ended the marriage.

Got to keep going.

I'm not going to go online.

Anniefrenchfry · 21/04/2022 07:10

I find the fact you’ve went through his current wife, very very odd indeed. I’ve no idea why you couldn’t wait and find a time to do this another way. It maybe he finds it discomforting too. Even if I liked a man, if he did this it would put me off.

CordeliaLOVEScocktails · 21/04/2022 11:08

@Anniefrenchfry

I find the fact you’ve went through his current wife, very very odd indeed. I’ve no idea why you couldn’t wait and find a time to do this another way. It maybe he finds it discomforting too. Even if I liked a man, if he did this it would put me off.
We are all friends. In a tiny village and know each other.

But yes it may be an issue.

However nothing heavy my side.

Just a offer to have a beer sometime following us chatting.

I just got his number off his STBX.

But as post says, I've not dated for 20 yrs. so cut me some slack please.

CordeliaLOVEScocktails · 22/04/2022 05:42

He said yes :)

ILoveAnOwl · 22/04/2022 06:18

Exciting times! Let us know how it goes.

pinkunicorns54 · 22/04/2022 07:37

@CordeliaLOVEScocktails

He said yes :)
Yay!!!
pinkunicorns54 · 22/04/2022 07:37

That was supposed to say Yay 🤣

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