Sex life after a baby?

[honeyandlemons]

Last time DH and I had sex where he orgasmed was December.

We had our baby a few weeks later but since then we’ve tried 3 times to have sex and something has stopped him (and me) from orgasming?

One time (first baby free night) we’d both had a bit too much to drink so called it a day. The other times the baby cried so we stopped.

We don’t have sex in the same room as the baby I don’t think I could relax and do it?

So the 2 attempts have been on the landing so we can hear if the baby needs us but not exactly ideal or comfortable

Anyone got any tips on how to get things back into the swing? I recovered amazing (had a c section) and I don’t feel pain or anything when we try I’m really lucky. Will it get normal when DS goes into his own room in a few months?

I mean I don't know how big your landing is but it sounds uncomfortable and perfunctory. Tbh it's a tiny newborn fast asleep, with lights off they can't see anything, keep your noise down so you don't wake them and have more spontaneous sex in your bed. You're on the landing list wing out for your baby anyway so it's not like out there you can get away from thinking of them. If it's a hard line for you, then yeah, I think it's gonna be a bit shit until baby goes into their own room

Yes you can certainly do it in the same room as a sleeping baby - remember in many cultures families sleep in the same room because they often only have one room.

When our DC were young and we all stayed in the same hotel room we would sometimes do it quietly under the covers when we were sure they were asleep.

Personally, I find the thought of doing it in the same room as the baby utterly revolting so if you're like me, advice to do it in the bedroom isn't helpful. Living room is the answer!

I'm assuming they've picked landing over living room so they're close to the baby otherwise we'd all just be suggesting sofa sex

As you've said DS has his own room, could you perhaps do it in there? It would presumably still have to be on the floor but there'd likely be a bit more space than on the landing and you could put a blanket down or similar to make it more comfortable? You could have a baby monitor in the room if you're worried about not hearing him (although this could also apply to sofa sex, which would probably be again more comfortable!). It sounds like it might just be a mental block in which case yes, hopefully things will improve when your room is "yours" again.

Phrased that first bit badly, meant do it in the spare room while DS is NOT in there ofc