As above
4 yrs after I ended our ‘relationship’ (which is now) I’ve found out I was actually the OW
There were some red flags for me (noted below)
But I can’t believe she never found out or knew (to my knowledge) anything about it
Also I wasn’t the only OW during that time
The stuff we did is beyond deceitful (by him)
I’ve read stuff on here about DHs having affairs and they’ve been caught on such minor things in comparison - I’m just gobsmacked. I wonder if she knew? I didn’t…
We had holidays together, weekends away, said we loved each other.
The red flags…he was married but separated. Hadn’t divorced as neither could afford it nor to live separately. Also had 3 DCs and wanted to wait. Had one ‘family’ holiday together per year for sale of DCs. Couldn’t go to his house as still in family home.
Although looking back it was obvious, I too was in a similar situation. No DC but massive mortgage. Neither of us could afford to move out until it had sold as part of the divorce (at least I did that!) so we lived separately (there was an annexe) in same house but like him, wouldn’t have invited him over as exH still lived there. Also I wouldn’t have thought any still married man, with 3 kids could have ‘gotten away’ with going on holiday without family?! Where did his sun tan come from?! Money?! Hiding technology, papers etc what a nightmare!! I just can’t believe it
It ended when I actually met someone else. Was upfront that I wasn’t happy with our weird setup and after divorce wanted to move on properly. The day I told him, I literally never heard from him again! Maddening. Darent tell anyone i know in RL I’m too ashamed that they will all think I knew (a few had actually told me in the early days).