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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My partners the opposite to me...

10 replies

BabyBx · 18/04/2022 20:04

Hi everyone, So to cut a long story short my partner is very different to me and we are basically pretty much the opposite of each other in most ways, for instance, he loves drinking most days of the week (going to the pub with his mates and drinking at home too), where as I'm more of a drink on an occasion type of girl and he will often get drunk and ill be sat there sober which can be quite an awkward feeling. Other ways we are different are I'm quite an affectionate person, and he really isn't and this is the main difference that really upsets me, he doesn't ever kiss me or just hug me I have to ask for those things, he never ever wants cuddles in bed and as for sex , what's that? :( all I want is some loving and affection. I want to feel sexy and wanted but he just isn't into anything of the sort. He would rather fall asleep on the sofa than come to bed with me and it makes me feel so low. Don't get me wrong we have gone through phases where he has wanted me and wanted sex but it's very rare, he's told me he just isn't into sex much and rarely feels in the mood and he doesn't particular like kissing and hugs because he thinks it's too soppy. But all I am asking for is to feel like his girlfriend surely I'm not asking for too much am I? :( I find myself crying some nights because I'm so sexually frustrated and not even just that but a kiss and a cuddle would be so nice . I've stopped asking him because it just annoys him I think. Baring in mind, I'm 26 and he's only 28 so still young and we've been together for just short of 2 years so not that long, he's been in relationships with woman before where unfortunately they've not been very nice to him and I feel asif because of what's happend to him in the past, he's totally distancing himself from me and any affection incase I turn out like the other woman he's been with but in my opinion thats not very fair because I deserve to be loved and wanted.
Is this normal to feel this way? :( is anyone else's partner similar to this? I don't want to carry on feeling this sad and feeling like I'm begging for his attention/his love. He tells me he loves me, but just doesn't show it.

Any advice would be so appreciated, thank you x

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 18/04/2022 20:15

Life's too short op. You're young, get out there.

Lol as for that vs about other women...aww, diddums, poor wee man baby got hurt by one women one time and now - he hates us all. Thqrs what it boils down to. If he can't treat hus own partner with love and kindness- Then he shouldnt date!

Run for the hills.

SarahBellam · 18/04/2022 20:33

No wonder he’s not into shagging if he’s pissed most of the time. I guarantee his exes finished with him for the same reason you’re about to: because you’re too good for this waste of space. You don’t need to be with him, you know. There are literally millions of affectionate, randy, men out there who would bite their arms off for a woman like you. Why do you think he’s with you? I’ll bet the housing is in your name and you earn a good salary - he probably thinks he’s hit the jackpot.

StanleyGreen · 18/04/2022 20:41

@SarahBellam

No wonder he’s not into shagging if he’s pissed most of the time. I guarantee his exes finished with him for the same reason you’re about to: because you’re too good for this waste of space. You don’t need to be with him, you know. There are literally millions of affectionate, randy, men out there who would bite their arms off for a woman like you. Why do you think he’s with you? I’ll bet the housing is in your name and you earn a good salary - he probably thinks he’s hit the jackpot.
Absolutely this ^^.
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 18/04/2022 20:44

Life its too short. Sorry but you're better off finding someone who doesn't get pissed with his mates every day. Come on, you deserve better than that. Please don't settle for this loser. You're only 26!

What are your living arrangements?

dotdotdotdash · 18/04/2022 20:45

This is my advice. Leave him, have a bit of a break, then find someone you are compatible with and be happy!

Watchkeys · 18/04/2022 21:35

Why do you think you should try to make yourself feel happy with someone who has no interest in offering you what you want from a relationship?

This is a genuine question, @BabyBx. Can you answer it?

Sunnytwobridges · 18/04/2022 21:52

Kisses and hugs are soppy??? I would kick him to the curb for that alone. Add on the rest it would be a done deal for me.

Nanny0gg · 19/04/2022 00:32

Why are you with him?

He has nothing to offer you, so time you moved on.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 19/04/2022 00:36

It sounds as if drink comes before anything else with him.

HollowTalk · 19/04/2022 00:37

Why on earth are you with an unaffectionate drunk? He sounds bloody horrible.

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