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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should we try again?

3 replies

teafor2two · 18/04/2022 19:42

I left my fiancé and took our 3 children in November. He turned his family against me, said I made him unhappy, I'd just had a baby and he said he only didn't dump me as I was pregnant.
I had been messaging someone (which turns out he knew as he'd snooped on my phone) on and off for a year or so. He was really just someone to talk to when I had fallen out with my fiancé. He knew he could be abusive and would say he'd help me if I wanted to leave him, but the messages were never sexual and never any photos.
I since started dating this man and he's lovely. He treats me well, makes me laugh and in contrast when he told his brother about us he said "good, she's a nice lass" when ex fiancé told his brother we were over he said to him "about time, I've always hated her"
Now ex says he's missing me and being a family the more time goes on, he can't sleep thinking about it and he can't bear if I got with this guy. He doesn't know obviously.
Do I give it a chance? But then I don't know.. I just don't. I do miss being a family.

OP posts:
Chocolatecomaday · 18/04/2022 19:47

I was you op..
25 years later i divorced him after taking him back and regretting it weeks later. He nearly killed me and the dc drink driving.. That lovely man I dumped is The Biggest Regret I have. You have ripped the plaster off op. Don't go back for more of the same. He won't have changed. He has just been practicing being a changed man to con you into taking him back. Concentrate on making good dc arrangements instead..
You deserve a new life. With a better man if that's open to you!

teafor2two · 18/04/2022 23:09

@Chocolatecomaday

I was you op.. 25 years later i divorced him after taking him back and regretting it weeks later. He nearly killed me and the dc drink driving.. That lovely man I dumped is The Biggest Regret I have. You have ripped the plaster off op. Don't go back for more of the same. He won't have changed. He has just been practicing being a changed man to con you into taking him back. Concentrate on making good dc arrangements instead.. You deserve a new life. With a better man if that's open to you!
Than you x
OP posts:
Manekinek0 · 18/04/2022 23:11

No.

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