Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this normal behaviour?

5 replies

KevinTheKoala · 18/04/2022 19:30

I am in the process of saving up to leave what I believe is an emotionally abusive relationship, in the mean time I am trying to keep track of some of the things he says/does to me so that I don't become blind to it yet again. I need to stay focused on leaving for my children's sake. However I'm not sure if I am being unreasonable in this situation - I have been extremley unwell for a week, I have been seen in urgent care today and now have a prescription for antibiotics, but for the last four days all I have done is slept, I've had a fever on and off and sweating quite badly from it, I haven't had the energy to wash, I tried to get up last night and fell on the floor grazing my arm and knee, so I'm not denying that I did smell, but my partner looked at me in such disgust and said 'you smell like shit'. He has barely spoken a word to me in the past two days because he believes I stopped him going out with his friend even though I told him I'd actually prefer it if he did, and when he has spoken to me it has been to make comments that I'm not sure are meant to be hurtful or not. For instance he mentioned how much fun his friend had the night he didn't go (which felt like he was trying to make me feel guilty),this was completley out of the blue. He then said he wanted to go and see two old friends of his and said that they used to be very close, but the tone he said it made me feel like it was my fault they weren't anymore (there is a back story with one of these friends but I have never insinuated that he shouldn't see him). Then out children were playing and one said they were going to work, and he said oh great someone else can pay the bills for once. I do work part time and contribute, albeit not as much because I earn a lot less than he does but it just felt very hurtful. I'm not sure if I'm being overly sensitive and this is normal behaviour or of these are more examples of nastiness on his part.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 18/04/2022 19:43

Lets put it this way, even if he was not an abusive shithead (which he is) you are not in a jlhappux healthy relationship. So there is no point to it. And it is setting abaddon example for the children to make them think they should stay in relationship that are shitty.

Pinkbonbon · 18/04/2022 19:44

Fs, xD
*happy relationship
*a bad example

Walkingalot · 18/04/2022 19:46

The 'you smell like shit' comment was certainly nasty. Not sure about the others, depends how he said them, only you know that.
You're obviously unhappy and it's great that you have a plan to eventually leave. You don't need anyone's else's permission.

Watchkeys · 18/04/2022 21:11

He keeps hurting you. If he was respectful, he'd be respectful of your feelings, even if you were being sensitive.

Spending time with people who are good for you feels like it's good for you. Anybody you don't feel good with is somebody you need to leave behind.

That's it. There's no right or wrong level of sensitivity. There's no normal. Just don't spend time in the company of people who make you feel bad. It's all you need to know about boundaries.

nitsandwormsdodger · 18/04/2022 21:15

Of course it’s all nasty unpleasant and you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t treat you like shit

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread