Mid life relationships and assets - your thoughts

[Gigi100]

I am 40 divorced no kids, partner 57 divorced 3 adult children and grand children. I have 3 properties no mortgage, he has his house with 3 years mortgage left. He wants me to invest money with him into a property. He wants a 4+ bed for just the 2 of us. This would mean mortgage. He also tells me he wants to retire at 60. I am not planning to retire for another 20+ years as I love my job.
Considering there are his children and we are not married. Together 3.5 years. I am a bit cautious.
He wants to get married to me.
Marriage protects assets but here I see plowing money into unnecessary large property where we could have something abroad or simply something bijoux for the 2 of us and holidays 3x a year.
He is very concerned his friends all have houses and he wants to keep that status. I don't. My work involves travel so I do like comfort of something realistic in size and maintenance.
Am I funding inheritance for his kids here if I agree to his proposal?
Your thoughts.

I think you would be funding inheritance, and in your circumstances the last thing I would do is marry him as I can’t see how that benefits anyone but him.

Are you @Sashasayssorry? Because this sounds very familiar to the other two threads recently on the same topic, where she is getting told the same things.

He wants you to fund his lifestyle and house. Your choice if you agree to that.

You seem to be keeping starting different threads on the same topic

He wants to retire in 3 years time, he still has a mortgage and he has 3 children. You wont be retiring for 20 years and you have multiple properties to fund this when you do. Sounds like he is planning for you to fund his upcoming retirement not to mention his keeping up with the Jones mentality. Bet you'll be left cleaning the 4 bed house when you get home from work too. He's having a laugh.

He's got a house with a tiny bit of mortgage left. Why isn't he satisfied with that? You're quite an asset financially, OP, with all those mortgage free houses so just beware opportunistic men with an eye to their future. Tbh you don't need to get married to anyone, do you?

You're only funding inheritance if you don't make a will specifying who you want to bequeath your estate to.

You can be tenants in common and therefore he will again not automatically acquire your half of whatever property you buy together?

How many threads do you need?

Don't become financially entangled with him at all.
You've done really well, you are in a good position. Don't throw it away. No man is worth it.

Don't marry him but as you are posting here to ask makes me think you won't anyway. You know your own mind without asking for advice from anyone surely

Yes there is no need to get married in your circumstances I don’t think. I wouldn’t

You'll get the same advice.

Don't get married.
Don't become his gravy train.

How difficult is that to understand? Rewording the issue doesn't make it different. He is a moocher. He wants your money. Bin him.

Why are you starting so many threads on this? I donr understand why you are with him if his life plans/wants are making you so anxious.

No you aren't funding the inheritence his kids get.

Speak to a solicitor about the financial implications or your future to marry and go along with these plans. Personally I would keep him as a friend.

@AllOfUsAreDead

Are you *@Sashasayssorry*? Because this sounds very familiar to the other two threads recently on the same topic, where she is getting told the same things.

He wants you to fund his lifestyle and house. Your choice if you agree to that.

Well observed. I think she most definitely is and she's an attention seeker. Good grief! Like we will be fooled by her changing some details.

You won’t hear differing opinions by polishing the turd-tale in a different way. He is a leech who wants to use your money for his retirement.

Op, you have started this thread so many times, you are in danger of sounding completely deranged! So I have to ask…R u ok hun????

Do it op because it's the answer you want to hear.

This is really boring now. He's not that into you. Find someone else, or don't. Whatever.

What happened to you wanting a baby, and him stalling his vasectomy reversal for 6 years? Those are relevant details from your other two concurrent threads!

Op, it sounds like you’re not compatible with your dp. He wants the status of a big house and you’d prefer to spend your money travelling.

You’re in such a good position with your finances, I wouldn’t want to financially join with someone who has such limited earning potential (due to his imminent retirement).

@Giveronyoursausage

Do it op because it's the answer you want to hear.

Agreed, just do it op. You want permission, go right ahead sweetheart. Why don't you just send your pay to his bank account too, cut out the middle man? Then ask him for an allowance every month.

Be warmed if you marry him OP even a pre nuptial and a will cannot cancel statutory provisions..

So if you marry and subsequently divorce he has the POTENTiAL to claim 50% or more of your assets, irrespective of a prenuptial, on the basis of his need.

Similarly, in the (unlikely) event you predecease him but fail to leave him 50% of your assets in your will, he can make a claim against your estate.

My thoughts are that you should stop starting threads about the same man.

Just do what everyone on each thread has told you and leave the twat!

Why have you created 3 posts about this?

If you want to buy the big house with him then do it. Nobody here will know whether or not you go ahead with the purchase.