My ex partner and I split up just under two months ago after a 9 year relationship. We have had a couple of splits during this time of a few months and we have 2 lovely daughters. On the whole though our relationship has been great; we are good companions to each other, we have a similar sense of humour, we deeply care for each other and we have a lovely family and we never ever argue. However, since our first daughter was born, the affection and sexual relationship hasn't been the same since. I feel I have been very understanding regarding this, as I appreciate the emotional and physical challenges this can have. After 6/7 years though this has not improved in any way. In recent years it's now at the point where anymore than a peck on the lips is considered too much and we barely have a cuddle. I would always initiate any form of affection. If I do bring up the subject of anything sexual it's quickly shut down and she gets very defensive. It happened often to the point where I started to feel like I was constantly being rejected and wasn't really sure if or why she wanted to be in a relationship with me. Even a simple 'love you' in person or text never happened so I began to feel quite insecure and paranoid about our relationship. I admit I was guilty of talking about our situation quite a few times and the last time I did was one too many. She decided we should split because she felt like she was doing me a favour and she was also curious about if this was a problem which she just wasn't attracted to me or can't be attracted to anyone else at all. We have been living together for almost two months in the mean time but have agreed to try counselling. I am of the mindset that I want to resolve our issues and work out our problems so we can find a healthy ground, and continue our relationship for each other and our kids. I love her very much and I can't imagine my life with anyone else and I want to be there and care for her and my family. That being said she is still torn on what she wants to do, part of her has doubts we should be apart and the other part of her says she's doing the right thing by is separating. My questions are is it a good idea to go into counselling without an aim or expectation and sort of relying on someone else to make your mind up for you? Should I feel uncomfortable about the fact she's curious about how she would be with other people? Can a relationship survive without any affection? Any advice would be so greatly appreciated! Many thanks