Lonely

[Enigma545]

I couldn’t t think of a proper title but lonely pretty much sums it up - however I’m also nervous of feeling “penned in” if I make friends.
I’m a single mum to my DD 16. Parents passed years ago, no proper local friends, friend who was a close friend is barely in contact. Work colleagues aren’t people I’d socialise with. I’ve also tried dating but no real connections so far.
I’ve met a few people who seem to want to be friends but I feel worried that they’ll suggest activities I don’t want to do or might want to meet too often - despite my loneliness , I also need my own space. This all sounds mad and full of contradictions and think there must be something wrong with me.
I just don’t know what do do. Wondered if I might be depressed.

@whenwilliwillibefamous what a great comparison & ideas too. Thank you so much.

Do you think you might be an introvert OP? I know I am. I need my personal space. I do tend to avoid forming deep friendships because of the demands they make on me. I just have a couple of long term trusted friends. I need time away from people after I’ve spent time with them to recharge my batteries. I’m actually very sociable but once I’ve had enough, I want to go home, that’s when it gets tricky!

I have shades of this too I think, and post lockdown I definitely struggle in groups etc.

I miss the company that you get from a partner - you're not necessarily discussing world peace but there's someone about and there's a comfortable silence. When you're on your own, to have company requires effort - even if they're really good friends.

I am the same OP.

I moved to this town about 5 years ago and at first the relief of not knowing anyone was immense! But slowly I've begun to feel like I should have local friends and am quite sad when I have to go to social things with the DC and I don't have anyone I can easily chat to (5 years of awkward conversations, after which I scurry off).

People have tried to befriend me but my instant (almost before I can think about it) reaction is to make an excuse - and then I don't get asked again.

Deep down I feel like I'm quite a strange person - and I don't want that exposed to others. It must be something I picked up in childhood but it's persistent.