Every morning before work he has 30 minutes to himself in the bathroom to get ready, use the toilet alone whilst I change the baby's nappy (14mo DD) I feed all the animals (dog and 2 cats), get the lunches ready, get breakfast sorted.
He then comes downstairs, eats and goes straight out with the dog to walk her.
I clean the kitchen, changed the toddlers dirty nappy, brush both our teeth, go to the toilet myself (with an audience). He then arrives back with the dog, makes himself a takeaway cup of tea, brushes his teeth. Then helps me load the car with baby, dog and stuff (if he has time) and we both go to work.
When we get home, I come through the door with toddler and dog usually 15 minutes before him. I immediately start making dinner whilst looking after the baby. When he gets home he says hello, empties his pockets of stuff and sorts his lunch box. Then goes upstairs to sit on the toilet for half an hour.
Then he comes down, I've sorted all the animals food, got the dinner ready, changed the baby's nappy, got her into a sleepsuit, put her in her high chair and fed the dog. Sometimes we start eating without him because I need to get the baby to bed. Sometimes I'm running behind because the baby is being more demanding, it which case he helps with these bits I usually do. Often after dinner I help clear up even if it means the baby is late to bed. She usually needs a fresh nappy and teeth brushing (it's all a battle and takes 20-30 minutes), which he is meant to do but I usually end up doing it because he's not getting it done quickly enough (crawling away giggling when he's trying to get her nappy on, he's to tired to get her and do things quickly) and she's late to bed.
We co-sleep and I feed my daughter to sleep, so I will feed her to sleep then get up and go back downstairs. She regularly has false starts, like most nights at the moment, so I often go back up and resettle her within the hour, this usually only takes 10 minutes each time.
Sometimes, if he helps as soon as he walks through the door, then he tends to be going to the toilet still when I've put the baby to bed. Then by the time she wakes up, he comes out the bathroom and I don't get to see him.
AIBU to feel resentful that he gets time to himself which I don't have to leisurely get ready alone? That he spends such a ridiculous amount of time sat on the toilet?
I try so hard to do all these things alone quickly to have a bit more time together.
Things are hard at the moment, we are not spending much time together. Last night I managed to get the baby to sleep earlier and come downstairs and this time she didn't wake, but we didn't even do anything we just sat on our phones.
I just feel so tired and fed up. I feel like he prioritises himself and things to do around the house (there's always something that needs doing, decorating, lawn, tap replacing) but that he never priorities me. I feel like he doesn't listen to me.
I can see that he is tired and he is doing his best, when I get upset with him, I can see it wearing him down. But I don't know what to do anymore because I feel I have nothing for myself and I feel I don't have a partner at the moment.
If you managed to read all that, thank you. Have you any advice?