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Original poster

Two days before due date and partner going clubbing. Am i being unreasonasble?

58 replies

NewMama2 · 17/04/2022 22:37

Last night my partner went clubbing. I spoke to him and told him I would prefer he did not go as I am so close to my due date and do not want to catch covid, but he still went. Around 6 months pregnant I caught covid from him after he had been to the club. He's going again tonight when I only have two days left, I have expressed my worries to him but he's convinced he is not going to get covid. Am I being unreasonable for feeling upset? I just feel he's going out being irresponsible and potentially putting my and baby's health at risk.

OP posts:
Onthedunes · 17/04/2022 23:50

Tell him to grow up.

What he can't miss the Bank holiday piss up, what is he a sheep.

Can't stand these pack men, who have absolutely nothing about them.

I bet he's a gym bunny aswell.

Honestly he sounds a complete dullard, anyone with a central nervous system would br quite anxious about the forthcoming birth of their presumably first child.

LouOver · 17/04/2022 23:52

OP please prepare yourself to have little support in the early days of parenting, I expect he'll treat paternity as a holiday rather than its real reason which is to be the full support to the mother and baby after childbirth.

Can your sister come and stay with you after?

DahliaRose3 · 18/04/2022 00:04

I would say and genuinely mean it - if you leave, don't bother coming back. Utterly selfish (expletive). I would also tell him to pack a bag and get the locks changed

I would be absolutely livid.

Neverreturntoathread · 18/04/2022 00:17

Yanbu :(

Sorry your DP isn’t more with it. Hope he improves.

margegunderson · 18/04/2022 00:22

I fear Covid is the least of your worries. Are you sure about this guy? Good luck with your baby.

Flickflak · 18/04/2022 00:30

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AugmentedToast · 18/04/2022 00:36

YANBU at all.

Partner should be more responsible. Put you and baby first.

If he’s like this now, what will he be like once the baby is born?

Hiphophippityskip1 · 18/04/2022 01:00

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ProudMary79 · 18/04/2022 01:38

I'd be going it alone if this was me. Sorry but it's not just the covid worry. What if you go into labor and can't get hold of him if he's drunk or not able to hear his phone..he's sounds horrible and doesn't deserve you or a baby. I'd leave him for sure. My husband would never ever have done this, none of my close family would either as they all knew I'd need help and support with my pregnancies especially close to due dates and if he's drunk or been drinking he won't be allowed in the delivery room at all. He needs to be close by to you especially if God forbid there was an emergency. Hope it turns out ok.

Calandor · 18/04/2022 01:40

I wouldn't care about covid... I'd care that I could go into labour while he's at a club?!

No way would I want to be in the most pain of my life and him possibly too drunk to come/help or hungover the day of our child's birth

Groomofthestool · 18/04/2022 03:41

YANBU
I'd be livid even in a COVID free world

Moser85 · 18/04/2022 03:57

[quote NewMama2]@teaandchocolate1 I do really need the support right now. I want him to still enjoy but it's like now I'm at the end of my pregnancy he's spending the whole day out with his mates then going to club after on top of that and not messaging until the next day around 2 pm because he's exhausted from being out.[/quote]
He's a dickhead.
I don't think this will change when you have the baby. He'll be out enjoying himself whenever he wants.
Do you not live together?

LimeSegment · 18/04/2022 04:32

Sorry OP but I think yabu. Either of you could catch covid anywhere. As for going out, I don't see the issue as long as he takes his phone along.

Yes it could be any time, but it could also be another two weeks, and the labour will most likely take days. The last few weeks of pregnancy goes agonisingly slowly, the last thing you need is for it to seem even longer by sitting together at home waiting. Just put your feet up and have an early night.

Ponderingwindow · 18/04/2022 04:42

Covid is the least of your worries. Men imminently expecting babies don’t try to stay sober enough not to be useless, they stay sober and as close to their partners as they can within work and life constraints so they be prepared to provide transportation and support whenever needed. He is supposed to be your go-to person ready to take care of whatever you or the baby need from fluffing your pillow to being your advocate.

TacCat49 · 18/04/2022 06:59

YANBU. I hope this isn't an indication of his commitment to help with the baby. I mean he's the one that helped create the wee one. He would be on his last warning if he was my partner.

MrsMo21 · 18/04/2022 07:19

I’m quite shocked at some comments saying this poor woman is BU.

Your boyfriend sounds like a dickhead. You’re so close to your due date he should be putting his social life on hold to support you, to be there if you need him, because that’s what you do when you have a baby. It’s not like you’re going to be able to go out living it up for the next few weeks.

Hadenoughofthisbullshit · 18/04/2022 07:44

the labour will most likely take days most likely? That isn’t normal.

Hadenoughofthisbullshit · 18/04/2022 07:45

By the way you definitely aren’t being unreasonable op.

RiaG91 · 18/04/2022 07:46

No, YANBU at all! I think it's a completely valid concern and you're right to be upset.

Someone commented about if you catch Covid that you'd only be mildly ill with it 🙄 not helpful at all. It's more about doing what he can so that you are at less risk of catching it, and not putting him or you in a position where you are at risk, alone, or even having to go through labour alone!

liveforsummer · 18/04/2022 07:48

YANBU however covid wouldn't be my primary concern especially as you've both had fairly recent infections and as there is no longer routine testing you likely won't know even if he/you does catch it. 2 days before due date though is not too much to expect that he does not go out and get drunk and go to a nightclub with poor phone signal. Is this usual behaviour for him or is he usually quite reliable/more thoughtful?

CrumpetStrumpet · 18/04/2022 07:49

Not messaging until 2pm the next day? Where does he go?

His behaviour is indicative of the fact that you are not his priority. Not even at your most vulnerable time. I would be prepared for this bullshit to continue after your baby is here and to make plans accordingly. Have you got family you can lean on and go stay with if nessacary?

Glitterazzi · 18/04/2022 07:56

My Ex-P did this 2 days after my due date. I totally understand how you feel.

He sounds irresponsible and immature. There is going to be another person to be putting first for a while and he needs to be able to take on that responsibility.

Just try to relax and not get wound up about it as easy as that is for me to say. Nice bath, camomile tea, girly film and chocolate x

MalbecandToast · 18/04/2022 08:01

How bloody selfish is he?! I really hope he steps up once the baby is here or you are in for a lonely time of it OP Sad I'd focus on letting your sister support you instead, if he can't make the effort you shouldn't either!

Moochio · 18/04/2022 08:07

What an absolute dick. What if you'd gone into labour? He's put you bottom of his priorities. Once you've regained your strength from the birth I would consider leaving him if his attitude doesn't change sharpish.

Freddy12 · 18/04/2022 08:08

Sounds like a selfish twat
Sadly I think you will end up doing everything when your baby is born and he will expect to continue as if nothing has changed
He needs to seriously change his attitude and step up unfortunately if he thinks his behaviour is fine now he won’t do this
YANBU